Tuesday, December 21, 2010


My favorite time of year.  I know it sounds crazy, but i seriously wait all year long for these last two months! I just love it! The Christmas tree ( which by the way my christmas tree is 11 ft tall and flocked, no judging!!! not to mention i have one in my room and in the living room).. the lights.. the Village! I LOVE IT HERE! I get to walk two blocks to get food, drinks,  my family... im blessed thats for sure.  Ive been feeling really happy again lately because ive finally started working again! For all who don't know, im working with my dad!  I wasn't sure at first how it would go over... if we would kill each other at the end of the day... but i couldn't love it more. He has taught me so much already and i look up to him a lot! ( might i add he is a great teacher) We have a great time cutting and doing surgical procedures together in particular. I have a huge amount of respect for him he works his butt off religiously all day every day.  I really had no idea until i started working there. He sees patients every ten minutes all day long.  Its nuts how much were running around! I find myself at the end of the day wanting to go over and hang out at my parents just to chat about all of the funny crazy things that happened to us that day :)

Christmas is in 4 days! ahhhh ! I cant believe its already here. Which means a new year soon too. I never really do resolutions... but i think mine this year is going to be to move into a bigger place and get a dog. Ive had the itch so bad lately that i even went and checked out some puppies. Unfortunately, the apartment im living in right now doesn't allow dogs..but come May my lease is up and i WILL be finding a place that does. Theres not usually a day that goes by that  i dont think about Daisy and Bentley. I miss them so much it hurts! I cried about it the other night which was weird... i was emotional and for some reason got a flash of Bentley running at the dog park and tears just started pouring out. Its such a big loss and missing piece in my heart.  I was thinking about if i even would get another boxer... as much as my heart longs for one.. i might not.  They seem to have so many problems.. and im sort of leaning towards something a little more relaxed. Any ideas? Alex was talking about me maybe getting a boston terrier! ( Krista i know you just shit yourself a little when you read that :) ) i know they are hyper but i definitely want a dog that i can leave at home while im working and not have to worry about it destroying the house! I think its just in boxers nature to naturally want to get into everything : / i dont know.. lots of thinking and more researching !

Anyways... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3

Friday, September 17, 2010


well funny that i just posted yesterday about being miserable with no results.. i got them. i passed :) awesomeness. So now i can go find a job and make the world a better place. haha... hopefully

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I have been doing some photo manipulations lately. Here are a few. The 3rd one down is by Alex, he digitally paints. He is sooooo goood i dont even get it. Blows my mind!

This is Lauren :) 
Alex's artwork
This one i had a lot of fun with, lots of work though
This is my favorite piece ive done so far
So, ive noticed that when i show my art to people.. some of the pieces make them feel a little bit uncomfortable.  Im guessing because of the nudity? So i wanted to explain a little.  The reason for most of my pieces being the female form is because it has become what inspires me to photo manipulate. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR.. i am NOT  a lesbian :) or even bi... that is not the reason why i choose the female body.. i just feel inspired by its beauty. Not so much the male body.. haha. Feel free to ask questions :)

waiting waiting waiting

so the last 19 days have been the longest days of my entire life. I took my NCLEX (nursing license exam ) on the 28th of last month and it has been A nightmare!!!!!! Every single day i try and come home or be home around 1 o'clock when the mail gets to my house and EVERRRRYYYY SINNNGGGGLLLEEEE DAYYYYYYY... nothing. Other girls from my program waited.. hmm... 8 days ... 10 days..... 17 days... oh but me? 19! so far ! who knows how long or when they will actually get here.

If i passed... straight into the nursing world :) which would mean the world to me.

If i failed.... i think it might be back into hair for a little while because this whole testing and waiting process is just taking to long to do nothing all over again!

Please God have let me pass, ive never wanted anything more in my life.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


IM SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT MY NURSING EXAM!!!! I feel like im back in school and im developing a blinking problem and gaining fifty pounds! I just really really really need God to be on my side for this because i need to get things together and get a job as soon as possible. Its been SO hard to find a job because im too much of a liability for anyone to hire me unlicensed. I need to start making money though and to be honest all of this free time is driving me nuts. I hate it.

August 17th is creeping up on me FAST, but cant come sooner ! i need to bring in the money honey.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Thursday, July 29, 2010

been doing a lot of photo shop today :/


this is a picture i just played with and made!


lesson two in photo shop

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

my life

i love my life.

Things were really rough there for a while, im not gonna lie. Graduating nursing school was out of control and the last eight weeks of me being completely bored out of my mind has been really hard. It was just such a weird transition to go from being busy every single second to having so much free time! I finally got my exam date to be licensed on Aug 17th so i have been trying to stay busy studying!

i moved out of my parents house when i graduated school into my own little one bedroom apartment in the village. I definitely wasn't sure if i liked it at first.. but now i love it. I love every single thing about it. The location, the space, my neighbors.. its perfect for me.

Not to mention how awesome Alex is. Things were hard between us for a while there too. I think between him living at his parents house and me living with mine and finishing school, we were just in a hard spot, both really stressed out. Things are really really good now. Im happier than ever and can only hope things stay this good forever <3

My old computer crashed not that long ago so i got a new mac book pro! My first mac ... im in love. Alex had all kinds of cool programs he installed, one of them being photo shop. He gave me my first tutorial last night for an hour and now i feel like i cant stop!! Im completely obsessed.

There is one thing though... a little piece of me has been missing. When i started school... i hated it. I found myself asking on a daily basis ...can i really do this ? I don't think there was one day that when by that i wanted to just walk out and never go back. It was harder, scarier,and more challenging than anything i had ever done in my entire life....but oh my gosh did that change. I found something that i love. I MISS it so so much. I feel like everything is perfect in my life right now except one thing, and thats nursing. I cant wait to get licensed to get back into it. I think once i get that situated everything will be awesome.

Monday, March 15, 2010

when you start really valuing yourself and realizing how hard you work to be who you are then you wont settle for someone that doesn't value you for that too. I think i finally just this year started realizing what i want and what i deserve... took long enough!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

feeling better today. Spent some good quality time with good friends last night. Let loose a little bit. Get to hang out with August and Krista today in slo. its a nice day!!! I just felt happy today when i woke up. ROLLER COASTER!!!!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

starting all over again.

and just like that its over. Im kinda over everything right now. Im OVER school.... like cant even begin to try and describe just exactly how over it i am. Over dating... over living at my parents house... over working my ass off and not getting paid! just over it :( im burnt out, can you tell ? and nothing has been going the way i would have liked it too... such is life. Almost graduated from my program. May 22 couldnt come fast enough. Im scared, excited, fearful, sad, happy... a mix of emotions. Mostly lately ive been feeling an overall overwhelming urge to just cry at any moment. what the hell is wrong with me these days? i need to stop being so sensitive and get it together!

the boy thing didnt work out so well.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Commitment. What does it even mean ? Why even have it ?does putting a label on something make it official? And also, why do our pasts have to carry over into our futures? Is it preventing us from totally one hundred percent embracing new expierences and new feelings ? I wanna find out what you guys think.

Sunday, February 14, 2010


i met a boy that i really like.