Sunday, April 19, 2009

things i miss

So, lately you could say i haven't been feeling "quite myself" ... meaning FAT!! so instead of feeling sorry for myself every single time i glance in a mirror, im going to do all of the things i used to love doing! A couple summers ago i started exploring things outside of my bubble to lose weight such as, hiking bishops at least twice a week, running stairs, ,no soda, discovered my favorite skinny beverage- diet peach snapple, and basically fell in love with lean cuisines and all of those fabulous diet frozen meals. I will also admit that i love tanning ( both outside and in the beds shhhhhh) cause any smart girl knows it hides ugly parts of the body!

Since i start nursing shcool in a month and my life is going to be forever changed, i decided now is the time. I also was incredibly inspired by this beautiful weather.. i cant help but want to be outside the whole time!!

Friday, April 17, 2009

the laws of attraction and love

Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. The law of attraction simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest. Basically peoples thoughts both conscious and unconscious dictate the reality of our lives whether or not your aware of it. I guess it can work for you and against you in a sense. Does it mean that if you find relationships to be one of the hardest things in life then you attract relationships that are a lot of work ? Am i suppose to just keep thought of the things i want in a relationship and not concentrate on the whole waiting around and not having it NOW part? Should i be looking for someone who is like me and interested in the same things im interested in , or should i be looking for the opposite? I find it all very interesting how the universe works... Or is it just the thought process in which you finally realize what you want and change your ways.

I have also been thinking about the different things that i personally am attracted to. If you know me at all, i dont really have a type :) i dont migrate towards any certain type of guy like most girls do. So usually after a relationship ends i sit and ponder all of the reasons why i was drawn to this person in the first place. There is the simple band guy, then the humurous guy, then the very well off and money driven guy.... all things i love of coarse but just in different forms but lately ive noticed they all missed one key ingrediant.

Passion.

I cant think of anything more attractive then a man being passionate about something. anything. I mean of coarse theres certain situations i could think of ... like porn... no thanks! But mostly everything. I dont care if its comic books, or horror movies... or music or sports. Its the compelling, enthusiasm or desire for something that just really makes me black out.

oh and i also love teeth. mmmm i can think of a few right now that make me light headed.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

happy

For the last six or seven months i started to feel like i couldn't find happiness and that i probably never would again. I couldn't figure out where i was going wrong and why when i had everything i thought i wanted (at the time) wasn't enough. I felt lost and like i was stuck in a place that i didn't know how to get out of.

I finally did and i cant describe how much happier i am. I made some big changes in my life that at first i wasn't sure were right or not but was hopeful that in the end they would benefit me and im so glad that i did because i am the happiest now that i have been in a long, long time. I feel like i re-found myself all over again. I missed how much i love meeting new people and surrounding myself with the ones i love. I missed learning new things and growing with each new expierence. I missed laughing and appreciating the little things. I hated moving back to AG. I felt trapped like i had nothing to do and nowhere to go. I had no privacy living with my parents and i felt like they were breathing down my neck every second of the day. It's funny how a situation can change so much by just changing your attitude. I love it now. I love every single thing about it. I love the quietness at night time, i love the fresh air in the mornings and waking up to see my mom every single day ( not forever but for now :) ) i love walking into a place and re-hashing memories with my best friends from highschool. I could definietly see myself staying here for the rest of my life and just MAYBE raising a family here.

I promised myself that i would have as much fun as i can between now and when i start nursing school in a month and i have been having a blast! I love my friends and how funny and loving they are. I really am LUCKY to have them all in my life. I cant wait to see what this next year is going to bring me i feel free and and excited and passionate. i feel fabulous