Wednesday, March 4, 2009

its pouring in my life.

I have been debating posting a blog or not lately because ive been hesitant to talk about the things that are going on in my life with people who i dont know very well that read this, but i figure if you read this then you are a friend of mine. I shouldnt be worrying about what anyone thinks anyways, i guess i am just more scared to say it outloud ( being over the internet!) so ive made some huge life changes lately some of you know and some of you dont. I decided to move home. There have been some issues in my personal relationship with Jin Ho and we both decided that i should move out. There is a lot more to that but i wont discuss it on here! If your interested let me know! Anyways, its been so hard and so sad, i dont think i have ever been this emotional in my entire life. I also made a decision (sort of on a whim)to quit my job. There also were some things going on with that i also will not discuss on here! But all in all, it has been really hard. So this all happened within 48 hours and right when i thought i had hit rock bottom.. i got my nursing application back in the mail. I wasnt expecting it for another week and a half. MORE bad news. So i opened it up and basically the letter said that i didnt get excepted. So i of coarse was even more hysterical! crying so hard that i couldnt breath i thought i was going to throw up and for some reaoson my hands hurt really bad. I kept reading the letter and turns out the program only excepts 30 people and then the rest get put into a pool of waitlisted advocates. So theres 95 waitlisted advocates that they give numbers to and i keep reading on and im NUMBER TWO. So i called the director of admissions this morning and talked with her just to find out what the likelihood of getting in to the program was and she told me that the last couple of years she knows for a fact that atleast one and two got in. I dont want to get my hopes up because i dont want to be let down,but there is that little glimmer still there that may be what could be the best thing that has ever happened to me! If i dont get excepted then i will have to wait until next year same time to reapply. I am a HOT MESS i pretty much cry every ten minutes out of nowhere something will somewhere somehow make me cry. A huge wreck. Im sick over it all day long my stomach hurts and im not hungry.. and if you know me then you know how completely wrong that is. Im just trying to get through each day and hope that the next one might just be a little better. Thats all im going to write for now

4 comments:

a song for parker said...

Oh my little D ... I am so sorry that you have to feel so much sadness ... I have faith that everything will turn out exactly how it is supposed to! You will so get in! And you and Jin ho will figure things out ... good or bad. I love you and I just wish I could make it all go away. Let's drink wine together one night ... now that we are so close! Love you

taryn said...

i would take your pain away from you in one second if i could feel it instead of you. it breaks my heart to see you sad..... hopefully your niece and nephew bring a little joy to your life now that you seem them pretty much every day! they love you so much. I know things will work out.

Vanessa said...

I'm sorry that you are going through all this. I know what youre talking about when your stomach hurts but NOTHING sounds good to eat. I know that it's not the healthiest thing but when I was feeling that way I would use that Dexitrim h20 water stuff. It's some appetite suppressant that you just put in water. It would at least make my stomach stop hurting. I am really crossing my fingers you will get into the nursing program. I have faith you will. I know not much can make you feel better right now but your family and friends love you so much. My dad tells me these things when I'm going through a rough time. "This too shall pass" and "It's always dark before the dawn" Dad wisdom can be annoying but somehow it makes me feel better sometimes. So I thought I would pass that along. I'll be thinking of some creative ways to get some people to drop the nursing program ;) You are a good person and things will look up. These things will not defeat you...they will make you stronger.

Michelle said...

Danielle, I am very sorry to read about all of these things...but you are a very smart, strong and ambitious girl and I know you will get through it all! On a brighter note, I'm sure your family is happy to see you a little more (aka Taryn.)