feeling better today. Spent some good quality time with good friends last night. Let loose a little bit. Get to hang out with August and Krista today in slo. its a nice day!!! I just felt happy today when i woke up. ROLLER COASTER!!!!

starting all over again.

and just like that its over. Im kinda over everything right now. Im OVER school.... like cant even begin to try and describe just exactly how over it i am. Over dating... over living at my parents house... over working my ass off and not getting paid! just over it :( im burnt out, can you tell ? and nothing has been going the way i would have liked it too... such is life. Almost graduated from my program. May 22 couldnt come fast enough. Im scared, excited, fearful, sad, happy... a mix of emotions. Mostly lately ive been feeling an overall overwhelming urge to just cry at any moment. what the hell is wrong with me these days? i need to stop being so sensitive and get it together!

the boy thing didnt work out so well.

Commitment. What does it even mean ? Why even have it ?does putting a label on something make it official? And also, why do our pasts have to carry over into our futures? Is it preventing us from totally one hundred percent embracing new expierences and new feelings ? I wanna find out what you guys think.

suprise

i met a boy that i really like.

life.

I feel like i haven't posted in forever. I finally was just trying to catch up on reading about everyone's lives on here :) Life has been good. It's been five months since my life got turned upside down and just in he last month i can finally feel change. I had never felt so hurt,or sad in my life. I couldn't even understand what that pain felt like until i endured it myself. You always hear the term "heartbreak" but it never really means anything..... well now i know. I could barely pull myself out of bed everything, i was horrible to my family, my poor mom got it the worst. I cried everyday, it was like i couldn't even begin to see a way out.

Things have changed though. I feel happy again. I dont cry anymore and when i do its just because i miss my little lovies Daisy and Bentley :) I finally just accepted the fact that they will not be mine now, or in the future... but that they do have a wonderful life with Jin Ho.

I definitely dont want to date anytime soon.. but i can finally feel open to the idea of boys again which has been super fun.

I have the BEST friends in the entire world and without them i wouldnt be where i am! They really pulled through for me and i couldnt be any more thankful. i love you guys.

School has been great. Fall semester has been horribly kicking my ass so i decided its time for me to kick it in to high gear. I need to get better grades and apply myself more. I start at Sierra Vista this friday and although im nervous.. im so excited. I start in Mother Baby and peds. wish me luck :)

life is fabulous. im welcoming myself back to it. haha.

sometimes i would rather be in school.

there are so many good aspects of my life right now. Im learning so many new things, im reconnecting with so many important friends, i get to watch my niece and nephew grow up on a daily basis... im doing something so so great for myself ( which may not seem like it now, but in the long run definitely).... i could go on and on about all of the things i am thankful for.. but there's just something.

somethings not right, maybe its the fact that i spend all of my time studying and i feel like im missing out on living.. or possibly the fact that although i do appreciate living at home right now tremendously, i dont love it. Its not because its not a great location or space.. it just doesn't feel like home for me. I want to have my own little spot again where i can make it my own and have my quiet time to myself without having to explain what im doing and where im going every time i leave.

Maybe its just my hormones. There are a few new things going on in my body i just found out about that could definitely be effecting me.

Im not quite sure yet.. all i know is that if there was one thing i could do right now it would be ice skating in new york while it snows at night time. Or to walk down the streets of Seattle downtown while its windy and snowing so much and so cold that it hurts.

or love?- ugh ew!

im so boring!

Two more days and im out of my first semester of nursing school . I cant believe it flew by so fast. I have learned so much in these last three months its nuts. I love it, i cant wait until i can be hands on daily with people.

Summer has been good. I have been hanging out and doing as much as i can with friends outside of school. I went and saw Black eyed peas at the fair and it was amazing!!! so much fun! on the down side i came home today (and im in FINALS right now keep in mind til Thursday), and i got a really bad headache , laid, down, and had the chills like every 3 minuts for a good 3 hours. So im hoping im not getting terribly ill. I need to be feeling good for the next couple of days especially Thursday for my skills final.

ps im so boring!