i have two jobs i work every day straight for the next 33 days. Im eight days in and its UGLY not gonna lie im already planning my first day off which will be the 16th of June!!!
i bought my very first couch. MY OWN!! its a beautiful white sectional with dark brown leather. which fits perfectly in my new bigger apartment.
Bruiser and Alex are my life and im HAPPY AS CAN BEEEEEEEEE.
Looking forward to switching over full time to my newer job in slo.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
School Nurse.... me? or not me.. that is the question
Well the good news is im starting to like my new job! I think for the first week i was too overwhelmed and stressed out to enjoy it. Its so different than anything i had imagined. I guess when i think about it... i don't even know what i had in mind!
The school im working at right now is in Santa Maria so needless to say its mostly hispanic and Mixecos. Are you wondering what Mixteco is ? if so... dont be ashamed i had no idea either. I literally had to come home my first week and do some researching so i could better understand the culture and where a lot of these little kids came from. Basically the Mixtecs are an indigenous group of Mexico. In pre-hispanic times, they lived in the western region of the state of Oaxaca and part of the states of Puebla and Guerrero and they were one of the most important groups of Mesoamerica. There are only two Mixteco translators in the whole district because there is such great differentiation of dialects within the Mixtec culture. Its been estimated that theres at least a dozen different Mixtec languages! and even then i can tell the translators sometimes have a hard time communicating with the parents. Most of the kids speak very little english so its easier for me to communicate with them. I learned that most of them go through no schooling at all. Not even any home schooling. They don't use clocks and have no concept of time, nor do they use medicine or any kind of treatment. They rent out rooms in houses with other families. I have one family in particular ( a mom and two sons) who rent out a living room in a house. Its sad, but its cheap. This boy in particular is a seizure patient. In the two weeks ive been working he's seized twice. We've been having problems with medication compliance. Where they come from they think kids who seizure are of the devil. So he's not getting his medication either on time, or at all.
Long story short, its a lot of different situations like that. As a nurse, my favorite things to do are skills! Ya know... typical catheters, wound changes, cpr.. anything that is fun and exciting. I really think God is trying to teach me a lesson... not sure what yet.. maybe i need my heart softened ? Or maybe i need to be brought back to the real reason why i wanted to get into nursing ? One thing i know is that im definitely falling in love with these little kids. I HATE getting up so early, but right when i see all of those little mexican faces i get excited!
Friday, January 28, 2011
lately
Ive been feeling AN IMENSE amount of stress. Between moving, getting a new job and Bruiser ( which feels like i have a baby... at least an idea of what it might be like) i feel like a ticking time bomb!! Im just on edge all the time :( . I feel just awful for the people around me. I cried the other night to Alex just saying how i feel like right now in my life im having a hard time getting a long with everyone, including him. Thank God he is so patient with me because i dont know if anyone else would be! I just really need to focus on making things better for myself and getting things in order. Getting the job has definitely helped already. I felt so much stress off my shoulders immediately. I got hired on with the Santa Maria Bonita School District which is such a HUGE blessing. Its a great job and pays great. Not to mention it will look really awesome on my resume for the future, or the fact that i have summers off?? how cool is that! I have to be honest, its not exactly where i envisioned myself right now as a nurse, but i will take what ever comes my way because ive come to the conclusion that its Gods plan for me. I start this week. I also move this week.. cool! Im just taking it one day at a time and enjoying it as much as i can.
Also, if you've been feeling sad, or stressed out lately something that really helps me a lot that Alex actually figured out is putting Disney songs on pandora!! The sound of music just came on and i think made my whole weekend!!!!!
Also, if you've been feeling sad, or stressed out lately something that really helps me a lot that Alex actually figured out is putting Disney songs on pandora!! The sound of music just came on and i think made my whole weekend!!!!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
moving,nursing,the bad movie, bruiser eating dukes, the christmas tree .... Alex.
I was sitting here asking Alex what i should write about and he listed off all of these things that i for some reason couldn't think of... then it donned on me... oh ya....
i wanna write about him.
I think i have yet to really blog a lot about Alex and I because for so long things were rocky, but i assure you, things have changed. I have learned a lot during all of the weird, messed up, funny relationships ive encountered over the years, but not like what i have learned through him in one year.
I met him through a couple of people a little over a year ago now, just thinking... sure we can be friends..seems cool enough! He was WEIRD, and kept to himself mostly, and i thought at the time ( which turned out not to be true) was into one of my friends. He would grace us with his presence.. hang out for about an hour.. and then turn in for the night. I never got it! He always claimed he was going home to " paint".. i of course didn't believe him. I would text him every now and then and he wouldn't respond for at least a couple days! Mind you on his Nokia that was 1st generation....( weird in itself considering he works at apple!) We became friends slowly and would randomly hang out IF he could drag himself away for a couple hours from this so called digital painting. Mostly we would go on for about a week before we saw each other but managed to talk on the phone almost every single night for hours. I found him to be interesting.... and then he became funny..... and then became funny and interesting... and really really cool.
Well what started as talking on the phone and seeing each other every now and then, turned into seeing each other almost everyday and lots of "getting to know each other" conversations... but HE WOULDN'T DATE ME!!! ahhh it was pure torture. I did NOT get it! He wanted me around... didn't want me to date other guys, but wouldn't date me! Finally after a couple miserable arguments later and pictures some idiot sent me on my phone, he wanted to date me. From there on out, things sort of went downhill........sadly.
We fought and fought and .... unfortunately fought more!! We just simply could NOT speak the same language. He had come from a miserable relationship, I had come from a miserable relationship, and both of us are stubborn as all get out. ( not the best combo) We could break up , get back together, fight, break up, get back together and the cycle went on. Finally i graduated, moved out and had an apartment of my own and we both were put in a situation where we were forced to live together and FORCED to figure out if it was going to work or not, and how ? I wondered how could you fix something that had been broken so many times. How can you force someone to listen when they just don't hear you ? Mind you , we both felt that way.... but no matter what happened, the second he would walk out that door, i wanted him back. I only knew ONE thing, and that was that i needed him.
He's taught him so many things about myself, the good.. and of course, the bad. Things i love and things ive hated for years but no one has had the guts to tell me. Feelings ive kept in the dark my whole life. A new way to love, accept and take responsibly.. and i think the best part about it, is that its mutual. When we met each other, we were both in very dark places. Places we didn't necessarily want to come out of.. and most definitely didn't want to change for anyone else, but i think it was fate. I think we needed each other to find out what we really were missing in ourselves and find out what we wanted in someone else. I feel love for him that ive never felt for anyone in my life. I finally feel like we are in a place of happiness, love, and constant growing. We have those moments where your talking with someone and hes listening to me tell a story and you look over at eachother and just smile!! <--- not sure if anyone gets that. haha but i do.
Hes sitting on the couch right now with Bruiser ( for some reason Bruisers a trader and wanted to lay with him.. rude!) . Kind of makes my heart hurt cause i love them both so much. I asked him what hes doing and of coarse hes looking up pictures of the north pole on his phone... why didnt i know that? freak! i laughed... oh the reasons why i love him. He just said " im looking up the south pole now, but why am i getting pictures of black people?" hahaha.
my little freaky family= love.
i wanna write about him.
I think i have yet to really blog a lot about Alex and I because for so long things were rocky, but i assure you, things have changed. I have learned a lot during all of the weird, messed up, funny relationships ive encountered over the years, but not like what i have learned through him in one year.
I met him through a couple of people a little over a year ago now, just thinking... sure we can be friends..seems cool enough! He was WEIRD, and kept to himself mostly, and i thought at the time ( which turned out not to be true) was into one of my friends. He would grace us with his presence.. hang out for about an hour.. and then turn in for the night. I never got it! He always claimed he was going home to " paint".. i of course didn't believe him. I would text him every now and then and he wouldn't respond for at least a couple days! Mind you on his Nokia that was 1st generation....( weird in itself considering he works at apple!) We became friends slowly and would randomly hang out IF he could drag himself away for a couple hours from this so called digital painting. Mostly we would go on for about a week before we saw each other but managed to talk on the phone almost every single night for hours. I found him to be interesting.... and then he became funny..... and then became funny and interesting... and really really cool.
Well what started as talking on the phone and seeing each other every now and then, turned into seeing each other almost everyday and lots of "getting to know each other" conversations... but HE WOULDN'T DATE ME!!! ahhh it was pure torture. I did NOT get it! He wanted me around... didn't want me to date other guys, but wouldn't date me! Finally after a couple miserable arguments later and pictures some idiot sent me on my phone, he wanted to date me. From there on out, things sort of went downhill........sadly.
We fought and fought and .... unfortunately fought more!! We just simply could NOT speak the same language. He had come from a miserable relationship, I had come from a miserable relationship, and both of us are stubborn as all get out. ( not the best combo) We could break up , get back together, fight, break up, get back together and the cycle went on. Finally i graduated, moved out and had an apartment of my own and we both were put in a situation where we were forced to live together and FORCED to figure out if it was going to work or not, and how ? I wondered how could you fix something that had been broken so many times. How can you force someone to listen when they just don't hear you ? Mind you , we both felt that way.... but no matter what happened, the second he would walk out that door, i wanted him back. I only knew ONE thing, and that was that i needed him.
He's taught him so many things about myself, the good.. and of course, the bad. Things i love and things ive hated for years but no one has had the guts to tell me. Feelings ive kept in the dark my whole life. A new way to love, accept and take responsibly.. and i think the best part about it, is that its mutual. When we met each other, we were both in very dark places. Places we didn't necessarily want to come out of.. and most definitely didn't want to change for anyone else, but i think it was fate. I think we needed each other to find out what we really were missing in ourselves and find out what we wanted in someone else. I feel love for him that ive never felt for anyone in my life. I finally feel like we are in a place of happiness, love, and constant growing. We have those moments where your talking with someone and hes listening to me tell a story and you look over at eachother and just smile!! <--- not sure if anyone gets that. haha but i do.
Hes sitting on the couch right now with Bruiser ( for some reason Bruisers a trader and wanted to lay with him.. rude!) . Kind of makes my heart hurt cause i love them both so much. I asked him what hes doing and of coarse hes looking up pictures of the north pole on his phone... why didnt i know that? freak! i laughed... oh the reasons why i love him. He just said " im looking up the south pole now, but why am i getting pictures of black people?" hahaha.
my little freaky family= love.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Christmas!
My favorite time of year. I know it sounds crazy, but i seriously wait all year long for these last two months! I just love it! The Christmas tree ( which by the way my christmas tree is 11 ft tall and flocked, no judging!!! not to mention i have one in my room and in the living room).. the lights.. the Village! I LOVE IT HERE! I get to walk two blocks to get food, drinks, my family... im blessed thats for sure. Ive been feeling really happy again lately because ive finally started working again! For all who don't know, im working with my dad! I wasn't sure at first how it would go over... if we would kill each other at the end of the day... but i couldn't love it more. He has taught me so much already and i look up to him a lot! ( might i add he is a great teacher) We have a great time cutting and doing surgical procedures together in particular. I have a huge amount of respect for him he works his butt off religiously all day every day. I really had no idea until i started working there. He sees patients every ten minutes all day long. Its nuts how much were running around! I find myself at the end of the day wanting to go over and hang out at my parents just to chat about all of the funny crazy things that happened to us that day :)
Christmas is in 4 days! ahhhh ! I cant believe its already here. Which means a new year soon too. I never really do resolutions... but i think mine this year is going to be to move into a bigger place and get a dog. Ive had the itch so bad lately that i even went and checked out some puppies. Unfortunately, the apartment im living in right now doesn't allow dogs..but come May my lease is up and i WILL be finding a place that does. Theres not usually a day that goes by that i dont think about Daisy and Bentley. I miss them so much it hurts! I cried about it the other night which was weird... i was emotional and for some reason got a flash of Bentley running at the dog park and tears just started pouring out. Its such a big loss and missing piece in my heart. I was thinking about if i even would get another boxer... as much as my heart longs for one.. i might not. They seem to have so many problems.. and im sort of leaning towards something a little more relaxed. Any ideas? Alex was talking about me maybe getting a boston terrier! ( Krista i know you just shit yourself a little when you read that :) ) i know they are hyper but i definitely want a dog that i can leave at home while im working and not have to worry about it destroying the house! I think its just in boxers nature to naturally want to get into everything : / i dont know.. lots of thinking and more researching !
Anyways... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3
Christmas is in 4 days! ahhhh ! I cant believe its already here. Which means a new year soon too. I never really do resolutions... but i think mine this year is going to be to move into a bigger place and get a dog. Ive had the itch so bad lately that i even went and checked out some puppies. Unfortunately, the apartment im living in right now doesn't allow dogs..but come May my lease is up and i WILL be finding a place that does. Theres not usually a day that goes by that i dont think about Daisy and Bentley. I miss them so much it hurts! I cried about it the other night which was weird... i was emotional and for some reason got a flash of Bentley running at the dog park and tears just started pouring out. Its such a big loss and missing piece in my heart. I was thinking about if i even would get another boxer... as much as my heart longs for one.. i might not. They seem to have so many problems.. and im sort of leaning towards something a little more relaxed. Any ideas? Alex was talking about me maybe getting a boston terrier! ( Krista i know you just shit yourself a little when you read that :) ) i know they are hyper but i definitely want a dog that i can leave at home while im working and not have to worry about it destroying the house! I think its just in boxers nature to naturally want to get into everything : / i dont know.. lots of thinking and more researching !
Anyways... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3
Friday, September 17, 2010
ironic!
well funny that i just posted yesterday about being miserable with no results.. i got them. i passed :) awesomeness. So now i can go find a job and make the world a better place. haha... hopefully
Thursday, September 16, 2010
PS
I have been doing some photo manipulations lately. Here are a few. The 3rd one down is by Alex, he digitally paints. He is sooooo goood i dont even get it. Blows my mind!
So, ive noticed that when i show my art to people.. some of the pieces make them feel a little bit uncomfortable. Im guessing because of the nudity? So i wanted to explain a little. The reason for most of my pieces being the female form is because it has become what inspires me to photo manipulate. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR.. i am NOT a lesbian :) or even bi... that is not the reason why i choose the female body.. i just feel inspired by its beauty. Not so much the male body.. haha. Feel free to ask questions :)
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| This is Lauren :) |
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| Me |
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| Alex's artwork |
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| This one i had a lot of fun with, lots of work though |
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| This is my favorite piece ive done so far |
waiting waiting waiting
so the last 19 days have been the longest days of my entire life. I took my NCLEX (nursing license exam ) on the 28th of last month and it has been A nightmare!!!!!! Every single day i try and come home or be home around 1 o'clock when the mail gets to my house and EVERRRRYYYY SINNNGGGGLLLEEEE DAYYYYYYY... nothing. Other girls from my program waited.. hmm... 8 days ... 10 days..... 17 days... oh but me? 19! so far ! who knows how long or when they will actually get here.
If i passed... straight into the nursing world :) which would mean the world to me.
If i failed.... i think it might be back into hair for a little while because this whole testing and waiting process is just taking to long to do nothing all over again!
Please God have let me pass, ive never wanted anything more in my life.
If i passed... straight into the nursing world :) which would mean the world to me.
If i failed.... i think it might be back into hair for a little while because this whole testing and waiting process is just taking to long to do nothing all over again!
Please God have let me pass, ive never wanted anything more in my life.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
stresss!!
IM SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT MY NURSING EXAM!!!! I feel like im back in school and im developing a blinking problem and gaining fifty pounds! I just really really really need God to be on my side for this because i need to get things together and get a job as soon as possible. Its been SO hard to find a job because im too much of a liability for anyone to hire me unlicensed. I need to start making money though and to be honest all of this free time is driving me nuts. I hate it.
August 17th is creeping up on me FAST, but cant come sooner ! i need to bring in the money honey.
August 17th is creeping up on me FAST, but cant come sooner ! i need to bring in the money honey.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
my life
i love my life.
Things were really rough there for a while, im not gonna lie. Graduating nursing school was out of control and the last eight weeks of me being completely bored out of my mind has been really hard. It was just such a weird transition to go from being busy every single second to having so much free time! I finally got my exam date to be licensed on Aug 17th so i have been trying to stay busy studying!
i moved out of my parents house when i graduated school into my own little one bedroom apartment in the village. I definitely wasn't sure if i liked it at first.. but now i love it. I love every single thing about it. The location, the space, my neighbors.. its perfect for me.
Not to mention how awesome Alex is. Things were hard between us for a while there too. I think between him living at his parents house and me living with mine and finishing school, we were just in a hard spot, both really stressed out. Things are really really good now. Im happier than ever and can only hope things stay this good forever <3
My old computer crashed not that long ago so i got a new mac book pro! My first mac ... im in love. Alex had all kinds of cool programs he installed, one of them being photo shop. He gave me my first tutorial last night for an hour and now i feel like i cant stop!! Im completely obsessed.
There is one thing though... a little piece of me has been missing. When i started school... i hated it. I found myself asking on a daily basis ...can i really do this ? I don't think there was one day that when by that i wanted to just walk out and never go back. It was harder, scarier,and more challenging than anything i had ever done in my entire life....but oh my gosh did that change. I found something that i love. I MISS it so so much. I feel like everything is perfect in my life right now except one thing, and thats nursing. I cant wait to get licensed to get back into it. I think once i get that situated everything will be awesome.
Things were really rough there for a while, im not gonna lie. Graduating nursing school was out of control and the last eight weeks of me being completely bored out of my mind has been really hard. It was just such a weird transition to go from being busy every single second to having so much free time! I finally got my exam date to be licensed on Aug 17th so i have been trying to stay busy studying!
i moved out of my parents house when i graduated school into my own little one bedroom apartment in the village. I definitely wasn't sure if i liked it at first.. but now i love it. I love every single thing about it. The location, the space, my neighbors.. its perfect for me.
Not to mention how awesome Alex is. Things were hard between us for a while there too. I think between him living at his parents house and me living with mine and finishing school, we were just in a hard spot, both really stressed out. Things are really really good now. Im happier than ever and can only hope things stay this good forever <3
My old computer crashed not that long ago so i got a new mac book pro! My first mac ... im in love. Alex had all kinds of cool programs he installed, one of them being photo shop. He gave me my first tutorial last night for an hour and now i feel like i cant stop!! Im completely obsessed.
There is one thing though... a little piece of me has been missing. When i started school... i hated it. I found myself asking on a daily basis ...can i really do this ? I don't think there was one day that when by that i wanted to just walk out and never go back. It was harder, scarier,and more challenging than anything i had ever done in my entire life....but oh my gosh did that change. I found something that i love. I MISS it so so much. I feel like everything is perfect in my life right now except one thing, and thats nursing. I cant wait to get licensed to get back into it. I think once i get that situated everything will be awesome.
Monday, March 15, 2010
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