its official

I had a mandatory orientation tonight that was four hours long. I went into feeling very excited and confident and left feeling very frightened ! haha. Its going to be rough and rigorous but its going to be AMAZING. I cant wait.

crazy things are happening!

I GOT INTO NURSING SCHOOL!! i couldn't be more excited. If there was one thing i needed it was this! Things are really starting to look up. I was in a deep deep depression there for a while trying to figure out a new plan for the next year or so of my life until i could re apply. I feel sooooooooooo much pressure lifted off my shoulders! and what are the odds that both Kamylah and i would get in!!?? I am SOOOOO excited. I think for the first time in my life ive been on a natural high all day long and it feels amazing. Thank you to all of my friends for sticking with me through that weird time in my life where i was pretty much a waste of life i was so rottin! Im going to celebrate tomorrow with all of my friends i cant wait. This is exactly what i needed.

its pouring in my life.

I have been debating posting a blog or not lately because ive been hesitant to talk about the things that are going on in my life with people who i dont know very well that read this, but i figure if you read this then you are a friend of mine. I shouldnt be worrying about what anyone thinks anyways, i guess i am just more scared to say it outloud ( being over the internet!) so ive made some huge life changes lately some of you know and some of you dont. I decided to move home. There have been some issues in my personal relationship with Jin Ho and we both decided that i should move out. There is a lot more to that but i wont discuss it on here! If your interested let me know! Anyways, its been so hard and so sad, i dont think i have ever been this emotional in my entire life. I also made a decision (sort of on a whim)to quit my job. There also were some things going on with that i also will not discuss on here! But all in all, it has been really hard. So this all happened within 48 hours and right when i thought i had hit rock bottom.. i got my nursing application back in the mail. I wasnt expecting it for another week and a half. MORE bad news. So i opened it up and basically the letter said that i didnt get excepted. So i of coarse was even more hysterical! crying so hard that i couldnt breath i thought i was going to throw up and for some reaoson my hands hurt really bad. I kept reading the letter and turns out the program only excepts 30 people and then the rest get put into a pool of waitlisted advocates. So theres 95 waitlisted advocates that they give numbers to and i keep reading on and im NUMBER TWO. So i called the director of admissions this morning and talked with her just to find out what the likelihood of getting in to the program was and she told me that the last couple of years she knows for a fact that atleast one and two got in. I dont want to get my hopes up because i dont want to be let down,but there is that little glimmer still there that may be what could be the best thing that has ever happened to me! If i dont get excepted then i will have to wait until next year same time to reapply. I am a HOT MESS i pretty much cry every ten minutes out of nowhere something will somewhere somehow make me cry. A huge wreck. Im sick over it all day long my stomach hurts and im not hungry.. and if you know me then you know how completely wrong that is. Im just trying to get through each day and hope that the next one might just be a little better. Thats all im going to write for now