Danielle Christine

update

2011-05-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

i have two jobs i work every day straight for the next 33 days. Im eight days in and its UGLY not gonna lie im already planning my first day off which will be the 16th of June!!!

i bought my very first couch. MY OWN!! its a beautiful white sectional with dark brown leather. which fits perfectly in my new bigger apartment.

Bruiser and Alex are my life and im HAPPY AS CAN BEEEEEEEEE.

Looking forward to switching over full time to my newer job in slo.

School Nurse.... me? or not me.. that is the question

2011-02-08T21:30:00.000-08:00

Well the good news is im starting to like my new job! I think for the first week i was too overwhelmed and stressed out to enjoy it. Its so different than anything i had imagined. I guess when i think about it... i don't even know what i had in mind!

The school im working at right now is in Santa Maria so needless to say its mostly hispanic and Mixecos. Are you wondering what Mixteco is ? if so... dont be ashamed i had no idea either. I literally had to come home my first week and do some researching so i could better understand the culture and where a lot of these little kids came from. Basically the Mixtecs are an indigenous group of Mexico. In pre-hispanic times, they lived in the western region of the state of Oaxaca and part of the states of Puebla and Guerrero and they were one of the most important groups of Mesoamerica. There are only two Mixteco translators in the whole district because there is such great differentiation of dialects within the Mixtec culture. Its been estimated that theres at least a dozen different Mixtec languages! and even then i can tell the translators sometimes have a hard time communicating with the parents. Most of the kids speak very little english so its easier for me to communicate with them. I learned that most of them go through no schooling at all. Not even any home schooling. They don't use clocks and have no concept of time, nor do they use medicine or any kind of treatment. They rent out rooms in houses with other families. I have one family in particular ( a mom and two sons) who rent out a living room in a house. Its sad, but its cheap. This boy in particular is a seizure patient. In the two weeks ive been working he's seized twice. We've been having problems with medication compliance. Where they come from they think kids who seizure are of the devil. So he's not getting his medication either on time, or at all.

Long story short, its a lot of different situations like that. As a nurse, my favorite things to do are skills! Ya know... typical catheters, wound changes, cpr.. anything that is fun and exciting. I really think God is trying to teach me a lesson... not sure what yet.. maybe i need my heart softened ? Or maybe i need to be brought back to the real reason why i wanted to get into nursing ? One thing i know is that im definitely falling in love with these little kids. I HATE getting up so early, but right when i see all of those little mexican faces i get excited!

lately

2011-01-28T23:32:00.000-08:00

Ive been feeling AN IMENSE amount of stress. Between moving, getting a new job and Bruiser ( which feels like i have a baby... at least an idea of what it might be like) i feel like a ticking time bomb!! Im just on edge all the time :( . I feel just awful for the people around me. I cried the other night to Alex just saying how i feel like right now in my life im having a hard time getting a long with everyone, including him. Thank God he is so patient with me because i dont know if anyone else would be! I just really need to focus on making things better for myself and getting things in order. Getting the job has definitely helped already. I felt so much stress off my shoulders immediately. I got hired on with the Santa Maria Bonita School District which is such a HUGE blessing. Its a great job and pays great. Not to mention it will look really awesome on my resume for the future, or the fact that i have summers off?? how cool is that! I have to be honest, its not exactly where i envisioned myself right now as a nurse, but i will take what ever comes my way because ive come to the conclusion that its Gods plan for me. I start this week. I also move this week.. cool! Im just taking it one day at a time and enjoying it as much as i can.

Also, if you've been feeling sad, or stressed out lately something that really helps me a lot that Alex actually figured out is putting Disney songs on pandora!! The sound of music just came on and i think made my whole weekend!!!!!

kinda old, from June

2011-01-19T00:07:00.001-08:00

he makes me laugh

2011-01-18T23:48:00.001-08:00

moving,nursing,the bad movie, bruiser eating dukes, the christmas tree .... Alex.

2011-01-18T23:36:00.000-08:00

I was sitting here asking Alex what i should write about and he listed off all of these things that i for some reason couldn't think of... then it donned on me... oh ya....

i wanna write about him.

I think i have yet to really blog a lot about Alex and I because for so long things were rocky, but i assure you, things have changed. I have learned a lot during all of the weird, messed up, funny relationships ive encountered over the years, but not like what i have learned through him in one year.

I met him through a couple of people a little over a year ago now, just thinking... sure we can be friends..seems cool enough! He was WEIRD, and kept to himself mostly, and i thought at the time ( which turned out not to be true) was into one of my friends. He would grace us with his presence.. hang out for about an hour.. and then turn in for the night. I never got it! He always claimed he was going home to " paint".. i of course didn't believe him. I would text him every now and then and he wouldn't respond for at least a couple days! Mind you on his Nokia that was 1st generation....( weird in itself considering he works at apple!) We became friends slowly and would randomly hang out IF he could drag himself away for a couple hours from this so called digital painting. Mostly we would go on for about a week before we saw each other but managed to talk on the phone almost every single night for hours. I found him to be interesting.... and then he became funny..... and then became funny and interesting... and really really cool.

Well what started as talking on the phone and seeing each other every now and then, turned into seeing each other almost everyday and lots of "getting to know each other" conversations... but HE WOULDN'T DATE ME!!! ahhh it was pure torture. I did NOT get it! He wanted me around... didn't want me to date other guys, but wouldn't date me! Finally after a couple miserable arguments later and pictures some idiot sent me on my phone, he wanted to date me. From there on out, things sort of went downhill........sadly.

We fought and fought and .... unfortunately fought more!! We just simply could NOT speak the same language. He had come from a miserable relationship, I had come from a miserable relationship, and both of us are stubborn as all get out. ( not the best combo) We could break up , get back together, fight, break up, get back together and the cycle went on. Finally i graduated, moved out and had an apartment of my own and we both were put in a situation where we were forced to live together and FORCED to figure out if it was going to work or not, and how ? I wondered how could you fix something that had been broken so many times. How can you force someone to listen when they just don't hear you ? Mind you , we both felt that way.... but no matter what happened, the second he would walk out that door, i wanted him back. I only knew ONE thing, and that was that i needed him.

He's taught him so many things about myself, the good.. and of course, the bad. Things i love and things ive hated for years but no one has had the guts to tell me. Feelings ive kept in the dark my whole life. A new way to love, accept and take responsibly.. and i think the best part about it, is that its mutual. When we met each other, we were both in very dark places. Places we didn't necessarily want to come out of.. and most definitely didn't want to change for anyone else, but i think it was fate. I think we needed each other to find out what we really were missing in ourselves and find out what we wanted in someone else. I feel love for him that ive never felt for anyone in my life. I finally feel like we are in a place of happiness, love, and constant growing. We have those moments where your talking with someone and hes listening to me tell a story and you look over at eachother and just smile!! <--- not sure if anyone gets that. haha but i do.

Hes sitting on the couch right now with Bruiser ( for some reason Bruisers a trader and wanted to lay with him.. rude!) . Kind of makes my heart hurt cause i love them both so much. I asked him what hes doing and of coarse hes looking up pictures of the north pole on his phone... why didnt i know that? freak! i laughed... oh the reasons why i love him. He just said " im looking up the south pole now, but why am i getting pictures of black people?" hahaha.

my little freaky family= love.

the cuteness masks the amounts of mass destruction

2011-01-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

Bruiser

2011-01-14T00:10:00.000-08:00

This is Bruiser. The new addition to my life.

Christmas!

2010-12-21T00:33:00.000-08:00

My favorite time of year. I know it sounds crazy, but i seriously wait all year long for these last two months! I just love it! The Christmas tree ( which by the way my christmas tree is 11 ft tall and flocked, no judging!!! not to mention i have one in my room and in the living room).. the lights.. the Village! I LOVE IT HERE! I get to walk two blocks to get food, drinks, my family... im blessed thats for sure. Ive been feeling really happy again lately because ive finally started working again! For all who don't know, im working with my dad! I wasn't sure at first how it would go over... if we would kill each other at the end of the day... but i couldn't love it more. He has taught me so much already and i look up to him a lot! ( might i add he is a great teacher) We have a great time cutting and doing surgical procedures together in particular. I have a huge amount of respect for him he works his butt off religiously all day every day. I really had no idea until i started working there. He sees patients every ten minutes all day long. Its nuts how much were running around! I find myself at the end of the day wanting to go over and hang out at my parents just to chat about all of the funny crazy things that happened to us that day :)

Christmas is in 4 days! ahhhh ! I cant believe its already here. Which means a new year soon too. I never really do resolutions... but i think mine this year is going to be to move into a bigger place and get a dog. Ive had the itch so bad lately that i even went and checked out some puppies. Unfortunately, the apartment im living in right now doesn't allow dogs..but come May my lease is up and i WILL be finding a place that does. Theres not usually a day that goes by that i dont think about Daisy and Bentley. I miss them so much it hurts! I cried about it the other night which was weird... i was emotional and for some reason got a flash of Bentley running at the dog park and tears just started pouring out. Its such a big loss and missing piece in my heart. I was thinking about if i even would get another boxer... as much as my heart longs for one.. i might not. They seem to have so many problems.. and im sort of leaning towards something a little more relaxed. Any ideas? Alex was talking about me maybe getting a boston terrier! ( Krista i know you just shit yourself a little when you read that :) ) i know they are hyper but i definitely want a dog that i can leave at home while im working and not have to worry about it destroying the house! I think its just in boxers nature to naturally want to get into everything : / i dont know.. lots of thinking and more researching !

Anyways... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3

ironic!

2010-09-17T13:36:00.001-07:00

well funny that i just posted yesterday about being miserable with no results.. i got them. i passed :) awesomeness. So now i can go find a job and make the world a better place. haha... hopefully

PS

2010-09-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some photo manipulations lately. Here are a few. The 3rd one down is by Alex, he digitally paints. He is sooooo goood i dont even get it. Blows my mind!

This is Lauren :)

Alex's artwork

This one i had a lot of fun with, lots of work though

This is my favorite piece ive done so far

So, ive noticed that when i show my art to people.. some of the pieces make them feel a little bit uncomfortable. Im guessing because of the nudity? So i wanted to explain a little. The reason for most of my pieces being the female form is because it has become what inspires me to photo manipulate. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR.. i am NOT a lesbian :) or even bi... that is not the reason why i choose the female body.. i just feel inspired by its beauty. Not so much the male body.. haha. Feel free to ask questions :)

waiting waiting waiting

2010-09-16T10:52:00.000-07:00

so the last 19 days have been the longest days of my entire life. I took my NCLEX (nursing license exam ) on the 28th of last month and it has been A nightmare!!!!!! Every single day i try and come home or be home around 1 o'clock when the mail gets to my house and EVERRRRYYYY SINNNGGGGLLLEEEE DAYYYYYYY... nothing. Other girls from my program waited.. hmm... 8 days ... 10 days..... 17 days... oh but me? 19! so far ! who knows how long or when they will actually get here.

If i passed... straight into the nursing world :) which would mean the world to me.

If i failed.... i think it might be back into hair for a little while because this whole testing and waiting process is just taking to long to do nothing all over again!

Please God have let me pass, ive never wanted anything more in my life.

stresss!!

2010-08-03T21:13:00.000-07:00

IM SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT MY NURSING EXAM!!!! I feel like im back in school and im developing a blinking problem and gaining fifty pounds! I just really really really need God to be on my side for this because i need to get things together and get a job as soon as possible. Its been SO hard to find a job because im too much of a liability for anyone to hire me unlicensed. I need to start making money though and to be honest all of this free time is driving me nuts. I hate it.

August 17th is creeping up on me FAST, but cant come sooner ! i need to bring in the money honey.

2010-07-31T16:49:00.000-07:00

been doing a lot of photo shop today :/

2010-07-29T20:56:00.001-07:00

ella

2010-07-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

this is a picture i just played with and made!

ps

2010-07-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

lesson two in photo shop

my life

2010-07-27T18:18:00.000-07:00

i love my life.

Things were really rough there for a while, im not gonna lie. Graduating nursing school was out of control and the last eight weeks of me being completely bored out of my mind has been really hard. It was just such a weird transition to go from being busy every single second to having so much free time! I finally got my exam date to be licensed on Aug 17th so i have been trying to stay busy studying!

i moved out of my parents house when i graduated school into my own little one bedroom apartment in the village. I definitely wasn't sure if i liked it at first.. but now i love it. I love every single thing about it. The location, the space, my neighbors.. its perfect for me.

Not to mention how awesome Alex is. Things were hard between us for a while there too. I think between him living at his parents house and me living with mine and finishing school, we were just in a hard spot, both really stressed out. Things are really really good now. Im happier than ever and can only hope things stay this good forever <3

My old computer crashed not that long ago so i got a new mac book pro! My first mac ... im in love. Alex had all kinds of cool programs he installed, one of them being photo shop. He gave me my first tutorial last night for an hour and now i feel like i cant stop!! Im completely obsessed.

There is one thing though... a little piece of me has been missing. When i started school... i hated it. I found myself asking on a daily basis ...can i really do this ? I don't think there was one day that when by that i wanted to just walk out and never go back. It was harder, scarier,and more challenging than anything i had ever done in my entire life....but oh my gosh did that change. I found something that i love. I MISS it so so much. I feel like everything is perfect in my life right now except one thing, and thats nursing. I cant wait to get licensed to get back into it. I think once i get that situated everything will be awesome.

2010-03-15T16:47:00.001-07:00

when you start really valuing yourself and realizing how hard you work to be who you are then you wont settle for someone that doesn't value you for that too. I think i finally just this year started realizing what i want and what i deserve... took long enough!

2010-03-14T12:11:00.001-07:00

feeling better today. Spent some good quality time with good friends last night. Let loose a little bit. Get to hang out with August and Krista today in slo. its a nice day!!! I just felt happy today when i woke up. ROLLER COASTER!!!!

starting all over again.

2010-03-13T14:59:00.000-08:00

and just like that its over. Im kinda over everything right now. Im OVER school.... like cant even begin to try and describe just exactly how over it i am. Over dating... over living at my parents house... over working my ass off and not getting paid! just over it :( im burnt out, can you tell ? and nothing has been going the way i would have liked it too... such is life. Almost graduated from my program. May 22 couldnt come fast enough. Im scared, excited, fearful, sad, happy... a mix of emotions. Mostly lately ive been feeling an overall overwhelming urge to just cry at any moment. what the hell is wrong with me these days? i need to stop being so sensitive and get it together!

the boy thing didnt work out so well.

2010-03-02T13:43:00.000-08:00

Commitment. What does it even mean ? Why even have it ?does putting a label on something make it official? And also, why do our pasts have to carry over into our futures? Is it preventing us from totally one hundred percent embracing new expierences and new feelings ? I wanna find out what you guys think.

suprise

2010-02-14T17:08:00.001-08:00

i met a boy that i really like.

life.

2009-09-14T12:51:00.001-07:00

I feel like i haven't posted in forever. I finally was just trying to catch up on reading about everyone's lives on here :) Life has been good. It's been five months since my life got turned upside down and just in he last month i can finally feel change. I had never felt so hurt,or sad in my life. I couldn't even understand what that pain felt like until i endured it myself. You always hear the term "heartbreak" but it never really means anything..... well now i know. I could barely pull myself out of bed everything, i was horrible to my family, my poor mom got it the worst. I cried everyday, it was like i couldn't even begin to see a way out.

Things have changed though. I feel happy again. I dont cry anymore and when i do its just because i miss my little lovies Daisy and Bentley :) I finally just accepted the fact that they will not be mine now, or in the future... but that they do have a wonderful life with Jin Ho.

I definitely dont want to date anytime soon.. but i can finally feel open to the idea of boys again which has been super fun.

I have the BEST friends in the entire world and without them i wouldnt be where i am! They really pulled through for me and i couldnt be any more thankful. i love you guys.

School has been great. Fall semester has been horribly kicking my ass so i decided its time for me to kick it in to high gear. I need to get better grades and apply myself more. I start at Sierra Vista this friday and although im nervous.. im so excited. I start in Mother Baby and peds. wish me luck :)

life is fabulous. im welcoming myself back to it. haha.

sometimes i would rather be in school.

2009-08-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

there are so many good aspects of my life right now. Im learning so many new things, im reconnecting with so many important friends, i get to watch my niece and nephew grow up on a daily basis... im doing something so so great for myself ( which may not seem like it now, but in the long run definitely).... i could go on and on about all of the things i am thankful for.. but there's just something.

somethings not right, maybe its the fact that i spend all of my time studying and i feel like im missing out on living.. or possibly the fact that although i do appreciate living at home right now tremendously, i dont love it. Its not because its not a great location or space.. it just doesn't feel like home for me. I want to have my own little spot again where i can make it my own and have my quiet time to myself without having to explain what im doing and where im going every time i leave.

Maybe its just my hormones. There are a few new things going on in my body i just found out about that could definitely be effecting me.

Im not quite sure yet.. all i know is that if there was one thing i could do right now it would be ice skating in new york while it snows at night time. Or to walk down the streets of Seattle downtown while its windy and snowing so much and so cold that it hurts.

or love?- ugh ew!

im so boring!

2009-08-04T20:39:00.001-07:00

Two more days and im out of my first semester of nursing school . I cant believe it flew by so fast. I have learned so much in these last three months its nuts. I love it, i cant wait until i can be hands on daily with people.

Summer has been good. I have been hanging out and doing as much as i can with friends outside of school. I went and saw Black eyed peas at the fair and it was amazing!!! so much fun! on the down side i came home today (and im in FINALS right now keep in mind til Thursday), and i got a really bad headache , laid, down, and had the chills like every 3 minuts for a good 3 hours. So im hoping im not getting terribly ill. I need to be feeling good for the next couple of days especially Thursday for my skills final.

ps im so boring!

bla bla bla NURSING SCHOOL

2009-07-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

i decided im doing things for me now. From here on out i HAVE to do the right things for myself to make it through this next year at least! This week was rough, two exams, two quizes, catheter demo and gi tubes. I now just need to get through two more long days of clinic and then its the weekend!! cant wait! Today was my first good day in a long time. I finally woke up today and felt like i didnt care. I know that might sound really bad... but theres something to it. A big part of nursing school is the stress and anxiety that comes along with it.. and each day i wake up with so much anxiety about what im going to be demonstrating.. or learning... or giving a speech, or having meetings with my instructors and it just creates so many more problems then needed. So for me to go into the day with a positive care free attitude ready to learn and conquer felt so good. Everything just went smooth. Im hoping for more days like this!

On a better note, i GOT OUT TONIGHT! i went to the SM fair with some ladies and saw Boyz 2 Men. ummm amazzzing!!! It felt so get to get out of the house i started feeling terribly isolated.

ps sorry if i talk about nursing school so much but its just all i know anymore these days... im single, no kids, no social life... just nursing school.

exciting day

2009-07-11T19:51:00.000-07:00

Ive been in clinic for eight weeks now and up until today i sort of was.... well .... a little bored! I mean its a lot of work , don't get me wrong... they overload you as it is... but i wanted excitement and boy did i get it today! My mornings start at 6am and im on the floor by six fifteen. This morning started out with my first deceased body viewing! Im a little weird i guess you could say considering all i wanted to do was assess the whole thing from top to bottom! I couldn't though because the family was going to come in for a last goodbye. Weve already been trained in post mortem care in school, but i wasn't sure exactly how i was going to react to the actual real experience. I knew it wouldn't gross me out, cause there's really only a few things that gross me out..but there's always that weird lingering fear and unknown of death that made me a little hesitant. Turns out i was fine! It just felt normal. Like a natural part of life. It was sort of funny because there were a couple girls in clinic that were freaking out about it and didn't even want to go in! I honestly saw it, assessed it and forgot about it like ten minutes later and went on with my day!

So at about eight o clock one of my patients was eating breakfast and started seizing. So we quickly gave her a shot and waited to see if it eased up... well it did a little bit, but fifteen minutes later she started getting worse. Unfortunately, the nurse on staff wasn't really paying much attention to it, maybe because i was her student nurse and she knew i would be in there? i dont know.. im just trying not to make her look bad. haha. I finally decided to go and get my instructor because it just wasn't sitting right with me. After having my instructor assess the situation she decided that it needed to be taken to the next level of care. After that things got a little bit out of control. The patient started coding and we had to get her stable real quick! It felt weird to actually be " the nurse" and not just someone who is watching in the situation! It was so fascinating watching all of the different signs and symptoms of someone who is probably going to die,and fast. I had to be on my toes and act fast. I wont go into the details of everything that happened after that because its probably all boring medical jargon but by the time i left she was doing o.k.

My instructor bragged about me at the end of the day it was weird... i almost wanted to cry because i feel like im such the underdog considering almost everyone in the class already has some sort of background in health care. She also pulled me aside and told me she thinks im going to make a great nurse. I needed that.

I finally felt like it was all really happening today, as much as i want everyone to be healthy and save them.. its things like this that inspire me to learn and grow and become the nurse that i want to be.

new post.

2009-07-09T18:16:00.001-07:00

i know i haven't written on here for a long time, but my life has basically gone to shit since i started nursing school. Things have been o.k lately. Not great. Nursing school is like nothing Ive ever experienced before. Its a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes its great and im so excited to be learning all of these interesting things, then the next second i could be hysterically crying.

Clinical has been an interesting journey as well. I had a patient last week who changed my life. Shes an 89 yr old female who's chart said "combative", well turned out that was the least of my problems. I went in to wake her up in the morning and assess her and it immediately started.

" GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
" WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS DO AROUND HERE, NOTHING!!"
" YOUR FAT
" I CANT EVEN STAND LOOKING AT YOU YOUR SO DAMN HOMELY!!!"
" I WISH I COULD SMEAR SHIT ALL OVER YOUR FACE"
screaming, punching , kicking, pinching, throwing things... you name it, she did it.
Frail, mean, nasty old lady.

I was determined though, i was not even about to give up. Although she thought she could do everything herself?, she needed help. Dementia was her main diagnosis and a lot of them think they live their lives totally independent when the truth is they are completely dependent. Therefor she didn't think she needed help nor wanted it. It took me and one other girl to get her ready and up in her w/c 45 minutes later. So finally we got her off to breakfast but i knew i had to go back in and ask her questions and assess her. Well, that didn't go over so well either! More fighting and name calling... but towards the end she started becoming a little vulnerable. Turns out she has to eat all of her meals in her room because shes no longer allowed in the dining room due to being combative to the other patients. So i would go in and sit with her while she ate, whether she liked it or not. I wanted to find out a little bit more about her life, if she had family, if she was married... etc. Well it turned out her husband had died many years ago, she had no children, no grand children and no one visits her. She sits in her room , all day, by herself, doesn't watch tv, and doesn't have any hobbies.

Turned out the more time i spent with her, the more she would enjoy my company and be a little more accepting of me. Well i had her for a couple long days and by the end, i loved her. In such a short period of time she taught me so many different things about how i want to live my life. She truly truly is just so lonely and sad that she takes it out by being mean to everyone around her. The more time is spent with her, the happier she was. She started telling me how she enjoys my company, and how she has spent so many meals alone that she likes me to come sit with her. I dont have her as my patient anymore, but i still go visit her. Today i stayed an extra hour at clinic just to go sit and talk with her. She claimed she remembered me, but i dont think she did :) but she sure was happy to have me in there spending time with her. Sometimes i wish i could just write in her care plan to have someone go visit with her for an hour every day i could almost guarantee that it would make the rest of her life just a little bit better. I love her, and i hope to spend as much time with her as i can before im through with my work there because if theres one thing i want to walk away with, its knowing that i made a difference in someones life while i was there.

As lonely, and sad, and happy, and miserable, and hysterical nursing has left me...
ultimately it has changed me , and for the better. and i plan on being the best i can be when this is all said and done.oh and having a life again :)

each new day.

2009-06-21T23:26:00.000-07:00

Turns out i did really good on my speech, im way excited. If you know me, you know how much i LOATHE public speaking. My voice starts shaking, i cant pronounce words correctly, my cards are shaking in my hands... its just a hot mess. For some weird reason i just felt totally fine. I rolled through it like i had done it a million times! This weekend was ok. Although tonight is technically my Sat night.. but it sort of sucks because everyone has to work tomorrow so i don't end up doing anything. I have been better... not crying every ten minutes on the dot... but i do still feel lonely. Tonight especially.. i moved into a new room in my parents house thats way bigger so i have more space.. but its also a little scary for me. I guess all i want in life right now is some normalcy.. if that's a word! Im tired of moving and feeling scared and uncomfortable. A little part of me wishes that i still lived on Palm st in SLO because although it was crowded and loud and at times terrible, at least it was still all familiar to me. Its so weird how i lived in this house for years and years, yet tonight i feel like its my first night all over again. I like change, but not change like this.

Each new day brings new beginnings, and things are getting a little bit better.

Last night my moms dog ran away. Her baby. We were up all night looking for her til 4 in the morning. I seriously dont even think that my mom slept. Then early this morning she went around posting signs everywhere. Today we took a walk and i drove up and down the street, up all of the driveways and nothing. Still nothing. It just doesnt seem real. My mom has been crying on and off all day i feel so bad for her. I feel like ive been such a wreck and shes been so good to me, and now i dont know how to support her. They are also remodeling the whole front of the house and its a crazy mess in there. I KNOW that stresses her out. I just feel really, really bad and i wish i could make her feel better.

Thats all for now.

pretty shitty

2009-06-19T19:58:00.001-07:00

i feel lost and scared and lonely. How can you care for someone whos in end stage cancer when you feel like your whole world is closing in around you. I held back tears multiple times today at clinical telling myself over and over again - you can do this, you can do this. Jin Ho told me today hes not happy with me. So once again im back in my parents house permanently until i graduate and make some money. I just feel so hurt and angry. I feel betrayed and stupid. As much as i can tell myself over and over again that time heals all wounds, i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. i just am in such a sensitive state right now with the stress of nursing school, and with both things collaborating i sort of feel like dying. Today this thought actually crossed my mind- sometimes i wish i could die.. but everyone around me would be super sad... so what if instead of dying i just want someone to take over my life, that way i wouldn't be gone physically, it will just be like i changed. sad right? I just was feeling so comfortable and happy with life and feeling focused and accomplished and now its just all over. On my drive home today i couldnt figure out how i was going to give my speech tomorrow in front of clinic, on top of everything else. Times like these make me never want to get out of bed so im really going to need to pull it together. Tomorrow is probably going to be one of the longest slowest days of my life.

Living with my parents doesnt help at all either. I pulled up to the house today and just sat outside for a good half hour trying to get up the courage to come inside, knowing that my parents were going to see my red glassy eyes and ask me twenty questions. I finally did and decided to just come into my "room" were i cried for a good 2 or 3 hours and finally fell asleep. Now im awake and i cant even explain how i feel. Sitting in this room where theres no substance of anything remotely normal. Quiet, no dogs( which i cant EVEN begin to talk about because i cry just thinking about my babies)small, and feeling trapped like i cant walk outside of my room because everyone will stare at me.

Its a nightmare and i wish i could just fast forward and not feel like this anymore. I should be thankful for the things that i DO have. Its just hard at the moment.

2009-06-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.

this means a lot to me.

2009-06-18T18:47:00.001-07:00

happy wife, happy life.

You do the math.

2009-06-12T15:42:00.000-07:00

today was my first day of clinical. I was soooo scared walking in. My first initial reaction was to run the hell out of that place. haha. I mean its just things you don't normally see or experience. I wont go over all of the different things that happened, but when i walked out from my first day i felt excited and ambitious. So thats good. Tomorrow we shall see what happends!!

On a another note, i went to go pick up the dogs from happy tails and on the way home i just wanted some silence when all of the sudden i hear something thrashing around in the backseat. So i turn out really quick to see what was going on and DAISY HAD ROLLED HER UP IN THE WINDOW basically choking herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im like still in complete shock over it. So i immediatly rolled the window down and shes ok... but seriously???????????? what would i have done if i had music on and didnt hear her????? CHILD LOCK will be on from now on when i have them back there!!!!!! ugh . i just cant even believe it.

short

2009-06-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

becoming a nurse is really hard for me because yes im mature bla bla bla,
but there are just some things that are really, really hard not to laugh at. Ill let your imagination run.

feeling like i want to jump off a cliff

2009-06-03T21:50:00.000-07:00

i dont normally talk about anything when im feeling emotional and upset, but this time im going to because i feel like i have no one to talk to right now and i just want to let it all out. Since Ive started nursing school ive been feeling all sorts of different emotions. At times im so happy and i still cant believe that i am actually going to be a nurse and accomplish a HUGE goal .. and then at times ive never ever felt so alone and miserable. Its such a crazy rollercoaster.

Sometimes ive never felt so embarassed and mortified, and sometimes just want to have a complete mental breakdown! and at times i feel soo good knowing im going to be able to help people and make their lives better. But Right now i just feel an overwhelming sick feeling in my whole body. Its like they are all enmeshed into one emotion. Its like everything starts spiraling down and is triggered by another thing. Its weird because while ive been in school for this short period so far, a basic thing you learn to critically think about is how everything stems from something else. ( in the physical body) and trying to figure out where the core problem is, and right now i feel like its happening in my life!

Ive been feeling like i dont have any support in my life.. and that may just be me being ultra sensitive but the best support and encouragement ive had so far is all the way in Seattle. I also have been feeling like my friends have been crapping on me. Maybe its because they think im so busy that they cant invite me to do anything? or call me? I dont know.

All i know is that the way that ive been feeling is something that ive never expierenced before. I know that its all a growing and learning expierence and that i will make it to the end, i just need to figure out how to get there. Im so exhausted. Beyond exhausted. My back hurts all day long maybe from sitting in lecture for eight hours or from just being over stressed. i dont know. I also have been having major chest pains that start from my upper back and shoot all the way forward in through my chest. i just love that!

I know that they dont make it easy, or else everyone would do it. And i know that they try and weed out the people that arent commited.... but sometimes i think its too much. I think its too much when you go to school for 9 hours and have a quiz that day and then have to come home and study for five more hours for the quiz the next morning. I think its too much when you have to leave school at 5 to go prep for patients at your clinical site and then come home study, and get up at 4 the next morning to be at clinical by 5 am.

Do i think its not possible? no.

will i give up ? no.

will i succeed ? yes.

I will be a nurse, and i will be good at it and someday im going to be able to look back on this whole expierence and be so thankful that i stuck with it cause i know its going to pay off.

Lately ive just been feeling the need for life/school balance. Please. someone teach me how to find that.

i started

2009-05-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

well this is my first week of nursing school and i love it. Dont get me wrong, im exhausted and incredibly stressed out. The days are eight hour long days five days a week, not including some clinical that you have to be there at 6 in the morning just jam packed full of information. They basically just slam you into everything on the first day and by the time the day was over i started understanding what all of the "scare" was about. I also realized that i am basically the underdog in the class considering almost everyone in there except for a few of us are already cna's or medical assistants.. which is not a nurse, or liscened, but it does give them an upperhand in some areas because most of them have already worked somewhere in healthcare. BUT i am not by any means going to let that bother me!!! We have to demonstrate every single thing we learn infront of an instructor individually and i was struggeling a little bit today because its terribly nerve racking so i stayed afterwards to get a little more help one on one, i find that building a relationship with your instructor and getting more help is definitely something i need to be successful. School does NOT come easy for me, and never has. I struggeled in middle school and in highschool as well, but i found that when i started college the more i applied myself and worked HARD, i was succeeding. SO I NOW KNOW , that if i put myself to the test and study hard, apply myself and give it everything ive got things start turning up.

Anyways, just thought i would try and update every now and then about how its all going. So far so good. I have my first day of clinical tomorrow! yikes... but fun. im definitely into the more hands on part of the whole thing!

hmm

2009-05-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

Im in the last week of school right now and im flipping out. I have developed chest pains, a blinking issue, and stomach problems because of it! haha. Its true. I start nursing school in a matter of weeks... ugh. I should be so so excited but i think because of all of the reading they have assigned BEFORE school even starts .. its hard. I got my first two pairs of scrubs which was weird and exciting! Something funny for all of you that watch Greys Anatomy.. While i was trying on fifty pairs of scrubs trying to figure out which ones were the most comfertable i came across a lab jacket that was super cute and stylish! Well i was required to have one so i checked out the brand and low and behold it was made by Katherine Heigle! apparently the actress that plays the role of a doctor makes a line of scrubs! i thought that was funny. Anyways i got one that looks just like the one she wears on the show :) i really liked it!

Its all becoming very real and im freaked out!! Other than that im just trying to live it up before i have to crack down and lifes been great :)

oh and ps. i joined twitter! add me http://twitter.com/daniellecv

things i miss

2009-04-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

So, lately you could say i haven't been feeling "quite myself" ... meaning FAT!! so instead of feeling sorry for myself every single time i glance in a mirror, im going to do all of the things i used to love doing! A couple summers ago i started exploring things outside of my bubble to lose weight such as, hiking bishops at least twice a week, running stairs, ,no soda, discovered my favorite skinny beverage- diet peach snapple, and basically fell in love with lean cuisines and all of those fabulous diet frozen meals. I will also admit that i love tanning ( both outside and in the beds shhhhhh) cause any smart girl knows it hides ugly parts of the body!

Since i start nursing shcool in a month and my life is going to be forever changed, i decided now is the time. I also was incredibly inspired by this beautiful weather.. i cant help but want to be outside the whole time!!

the laws of attraction and love

2009-04-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. The law of attraction simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest. Basically peoples thoughts both conscious and unconscious dictate the reality of our lives whether or not your aware of it. I guess it can work for you and against you in a sense. Does it mean that if you find relationships to be one of the hardest things in life then you attract relationships that are a lot of work ? Am i suppose to just keep thought of the things i want in a relationship and not concentrate on the whole waiting around and not having it NOW part? Should i be looking for someone who is like me and interested in the same things im interested in , or should i be looking for the opposite? I find it all very interesting how the universe works... Or is it just the thought process in which you finally realize what you want and change your ways.

I have also been thinking about the different things that i personally am attracted to. If you know me at all, i dont really have a type :) i dont migrate towards any certain type of guy like most girls do. So usually after a relationship ends i sit and ponder all of the reasons why i was drawn to this person in the first place. There is the simple band guy, then the humurous guy, then the very well off and money driven guy.... all things i love of coarse but just in different forms but lately ive noticed they all missed one key ingrediant.

Passion.

I cant think of anything more attractive then a man being passionate about something. anything. I mean of coarse theres certain situations i could think of ... like porn... no thanks! But mostly everything. I dont care if its comic books, or horror movies... or music or sports. Its the compelling, enthusiasm or desire for something that just really makes me black out.

oh and i also love teeth. mmmm i can think of a few right now that make me light headed.

happy

2009-04-05T18:48:00.001-07:00

For the last six or seven months i started to feel like i couldn't find happiness and that i probably never would again. I couldn't figure out where i was going wrong and why when i had everything i thought i wanted (at the time) wasn't enough. I felt lost and like i was stuck in a place that i didn't know how to get out of.

I finally did and i cant describe how much happier i am. I made some big changes in my life that at first i wasn't sure were right or not but was hopeful that in the end they would benefit me and im so glad that i did because i am the happiest now that i have been in a long, long time. I feel like i re-found myself all over again. I missed how much i love meeting new people and surrounding myself with the ones i love. I missed learning new things and growing with each new expierence. I missed laughing and appreciating the little things. I hated moving back to AG. I felt trapped like i had nothing to do and nowhere to go. I had no privacy living with my parents and i felt like they were breathing down my neck every second of the day. It's funny how a situation can change so much by just changing your attitude. I love it now. I love every single thing about it. I love the quietness at night time, i love the fresh air in the mornings and waking up to see my mom every single day ( not forever but for now :) ) i love walking into a place and re-hashing memories with my best friends from highschool. I could definietly see myself staying here for the rest of my life and just MAYBE raising a family here.

I promised myself that i would have as much fun as i can between now and when i start nursing school in a month and i have been having a blast! I love my friends and how funny and loving they are. I really am LUCKY to have them all in my life. I cant wait to see what this next year is going to bring me i feel free and and excited and passionate. i feel fabulous

its official

2009-03-28T01:59:00.000-07:00

I had a mandatory orientation tonight that was four hours long. I went into feeling very excited and confident and left feeling very frightened ! haha. Its going to be rough and rigorous but its going to be AMAZING. I cant wait.

crazy things are happening!

2009-03-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

I GOT INTO NURSING SCHOOL!! i couldn't be more excited. If there was one thing i needed it was this! Things are really starting to look up. I was in a deep deep depression there for a while trying to figure out a new plan for the next year or so of my life until i could re apply. I feel sooooooooooo much pressure lifted off my shoulders! and what are the odds that both Kamylah and i would get in!!?? I am SOOOOO excited. I think for the first time in my life ive been on a natural high all day long and it feels amazing. Thank you to all of my friends for sticking with me through that weird time in my life where i was pretty much a waste of life i was so rottin! Im going to celebrate tomorrow with all of my friends i cant wait. This is exactly what i needed.

its pouring in my life.

2009-03-04T19:41:00.000-08:00

I have been debating posting a blog or not lately because ive been hesitant to talk about the things that are going on in my life with people who i dont know very well that read this, but i figure if you read this then you are a friend of mine. I shouldnt be worrying about what anyone thinks anyways, i guess i am just more scared to say it outloud ( being over the internet!) so ive made some huge life changes lately some of you know and some of you dont. I decided to move home. There have been some issues in my personal relationship with Jin Ho and we both decided that i should move out. There is a lot more to that but i wont discuss it on here! If your interested let me know! Anyways, its been so hard and so sad, i dont think i have ever been this emotional in my entire life. I also made a decision (sort of on a whim)to quit my job. There also were some things going on with that i also will not discuss on here! But all in all, it has been really hard. So this all happened within 48 hours and right when i thought i had hit rock bottom.. i got my nursing application back in the mail. I wasnt expecting it for another week and a half. MORE bad news. So i opened it up and basically the letter said that i didnt get excepted. So i of coarse was even more hysterical! crying so hard that i couldnt breath i thought i was going to throw up and for some reaoson my hands hurt really bad. I kept reading the letter and turns out the program only excepts 30 people and then the rest get put into a pool of waitlisted advocates. So theres 95 waitlisted advocates that they give numbers to and i keep reading on and im NUMBER TWO. So i called the director of admissions this morning and talked with her just to find out what the likelihood of getting in to the program was and she told me that the last couple of years she knows for a fact that atleast one and two got in. I dont want to get my hopes up because i dont want to be let down,but there is that little glimmer still there that may be what could be the best thing that has ever happened to me! If i dont get excepted then i will have to wait until next year same time to reapply. I am a HOT MESS i pretty much cry every ten minutes out of nowhere something will somewhere somehow make me cry. A huge wreck. Im sick over it all day long my stomach hurts and im not hungry.. and if you know me then you know how completely wrong that is. Im just trying to get through each day and hope that the next one might just be a little better. Thats all im going to write for now

weird, weird dream

2009-02-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

I had the craziest dream last night so i thought i would blog about it. It started off that Krista, Lori, Wiss, Cathy( Kristas mom) and i went to Vegas. For some weird reason we were planning on partying?!? even though both Lori and Krista are pregnant! who knows. Anyways, i remember being at some weird hotel room and Krista saying she was going to go find the hospitals a couple blocks away. The next thing i remember is someone calling me to run down there because Krista was in labor. When i got there she had already had the baby. First of all it looked like it was like 3 months old and like it was an exact mixture of Matt and Cathy haha. It looked really weird like it had a really synthetic looking wig on with hair past its shoulders! Then the next thing i remember is Lori walking out of the delivery room soaking wet naked with a towl around her and she was telling me she thought she was going into labor so she got in a delivery tub. Then all of the sudden she was on the bed and a nurse was checking her but in a really weird way. She was pushing really hard and fast on her uterus like she was doing super speed cpr on it or something and it was hurting Lori really bad. I think she was trying to make her go into labor or something? i dont know it was really weird and scary. Then all of the sudden my mom showed up and for some reason her and i were doing all of the after labor stuff. Like rinsing off the baby and making sure it was crying and breathing right! haha. So then we decided to walk home ( i guess Lori didnt give birth because only Krista had her baby) and it was just Lori, Krista and i this time and we walked past this weird river and saw kayaks by the side so we decided we wanted to go kayaking but there were no paddles so we were searching through all of this wood debris to make some.

and then i woke up!! Thank God. I dont think that dream could have gotten any weirder or scarier!

when does the epidimic end!

2009-02-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

i dont know if any of you watch the orange county housewives but the reunion was off the hook! i was laughing out loud half the show in COMPLETE SHOCK! I cant believe the whole story about Gretchen and her getting paid to take care of that old man!

Anyways, Ella ended up with the stomach flu Monday night so we are all crossing our fingers that none of us get it because we are all really excited to go to Disneyland this weekend so please PLEASE everyone pray for us that no one in my family falls ill! we need this vacation!

My dogs watching tv

2009-02-18T22:18:00.002-08:00

Ok this video Kills me. My dogs love to watch tv!!! hahahaha and i caught them!

catch up!

2009-02-18T21:45:00.000-08:00

Well i have had a rather eventful last couple of weeks! It was Julies wedding so that was pretty crazy. I had to be there at eight in the morning and i did eight people while i was there for six hours! I had to jam home really fast and go straight back for the actual wedding. By the time seven rolled around i was so tired i went straight home and passed out around ten! (which by the way is super early for me) Anyways were still in the rental and im still scared when nighttime rolls around! There are just to many damn hiding spaces i cant help it. The other house is coming along nicely we are pretty much right on schedule so far all we need is for the rain to stop so we can get moving on the add on part of the house. I will have to update the house pictures as its coming along. But for right now i have pictures from the past couple days!
Loris belly!!!!! front view ( im obsessed)
side view!!
Im pregnant!! jk i love that fake belly
buying nursing bras!! its all happening

i freaking love this picture its a perfect exacple of their personalities!!
Julies wedding
Rudianne and I! love her
These next couple of pictures are of Don and Maggie who i dearly love. Most of you know Maggie or at least have heard about her. We have worked next to each other the last three years and she just quit :( Don ( her husband) was diagnosed a couple months ago with lou gehrig's disease and i couldnt be more upset about it. I cant even talk about it without crying. Maggie just means so much to me and she is the absolute last person i would ever imagine something so tragic happening to. It just proves that bad things do happen to amazing people. I just wish it didnt. The picture i took above is of Maggie and Don holding hands during a really cool prayer at Julies wedding. I snuck it :)
haha i love this picture Maggie looks drunk! shes not
Isnt she a beauty!!

Owen!

2009-02-11T16:29:00.001-08:00

Ella <3

2009-02-11T15:55:00.001-08:00

Im obsessed!!

pics!

2009-02-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

Heather stayed the night this weekend and her hot pink lipstick stayed on all night!
Baby Owen such a smiley little lover
Brooke and Raf came up last weekend and saw the new house, look how big Bentley is compared to her!!
Haha the dogs got a bath at doggie day care and this is what they came home in! they are so cute
Ella has lipstick all over her face! my little princess
This is the cupcake that has been getting my through the remodel. Its the new red velvet starbucks cupcake, im obsessed
Daisy loves her daddy, she wont ever curl up on me like that!
and last but not least, she fell asleep like this. With her toy ( stick from the backyard) in her mouth. Shes nuts

new place

2009-02-09T22:21:00.001-08:00

(Bentley and Daisy look like alien boxers!)
So we are in the new place... i have to admit at first i was totally freaked the f%ck out! but now i kind of love it. It's totally growing on me!I was going to post pictures but its too much work and even the pictures don't give it enough credit! I will do my best to describe it! So first of all you walk all the way up two flights up stairs to even get to the front door and when you come in its a little creepy looking.. well i think anyways. Its all red wood with walls that have big panels of red wood so it tends to look a little bit dark in here. It has really old light fixtures and in every room there are really cool vintage chandeliers. So downstairs theres the living room, dining room, kitchen and two bedrooms with a one full bathroom. Then upstairs is the master bedroom which is my favorite. You walk up this really narrow staircase with three flights of stairs and into a huge room that has a big loft and its own bathroom. Theres also a really neat balcony that i cant wait to go sit out on when the weather gets nicer and even MAYBE have a glass of wine out there! Its lined with windows so its really bright at night and really sunny in the morning ( which i like ). The bathroom has a jacuzzi tub and huge mirrors in it! Last night when it was raining it was really loud on the windows and the sliding glass door out to the balcony, it lolled me to sleep! There's also a big window at the top of the stairs where you can see the del monte cafe (my favorite place in town) its literally a hop and skip one street away. im obsessed!! But i think my favorite part about living here is being able to walk out of the door every morning and see my favorite building in all of san luis. I used to drive by it everyday on my way to school and now i can look out my window and see it right there. Its this really old brick building that is being renovated right now so its looking more and more beatiful each day! The dogs are having a field day running around like crazy with all of this empty space! I want to have a party here before we head back to our newly remodeled house( which by the way is ALREADY delayed one day into it with this rain! i think we might be in here longer then planned !) Since we dont have a dining room set yet, i was thinking about possibly putting a beer pong table in there! I know it seems pretty white trash but i think it would be fun for the time being here! i love beer pong! haha

anyways tomorrow im going to see my dads surgeon that did both his shoulders and his knee for my shoulder. wish me luck!

A tribute to my little lovies

2009-02-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

Thank you God for my little niece and nephew!!!!!

moving

2009-02-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

A while ago Jin Ho decided he wanted to remodel the kitchen so we have been kind of looking more into it the last three months or so. He had a contractor come up here on Thursday this last week and when i got home he told me that night that instead of just remodeling the kitchen, now its going to be the whole house! Were going to extend the back of the house out, add another master bathroom and closets, all new wood floors, remodel the whole kitchen! its going to be nuts AND the craziest part of all is that they are going to start this monday! So we had just about four days to find a rental that allowed dogs and only for a couple months!( which is almost near impossible in slo) but low and behold Jin Ho found one. Its a three bedroom two bath house. We went to see it today and its nuts. Its huge for us! Its right downtown slo with all red hardwood floors. At first i was a little bit creeped out by it because its two stories and it kind of resembles a house that a scary movie could be filmed in because of all of the dark red wood and old chandaliers in every room... but i kind of loved it by the time we walked out. I would actually want to live there if we were still going to move. The dogs are going to go crazy having all the room to run around in!So now the problem is ... moving. Since we are getting all new floors BASICALLY we have to move the whole house out! and in one week??? I cant even begin to describe how much it stressed me out. My boyfriend is nuts. completely nuts. but i love him. I think what i love about him most is his spontanaety, we will never be bored :) once we are in i will post pictures.

new car!

2009-01-28T21:43:00.000-08:00

so a couple months ago i mentioned to Jin Ho that i would just love to drive an automatic considering ive driven a stick shift almost since i got my drivers license. So he assured me that i would be able to find my exact Mercedes just as an automatic around the same price. So since then we have looked at about four different car lots around here not including one that we tried negotiating with down south! Turns out no one wants my car!!! I bought my car about a year ago now and since then its value has gone down tremendously!!! Also the fact that its a manual doesnt help at all. So i was having a really hard time trying to sell this car right when Jin Ho told me he found a car that i had said i liked a while ago. So tonight we went to just go LOOK at it right.... and i drive home in a new car!! Nuts i know. We seriously walked in and the owner of the Cadillac dealership walked up to Jin Ho like he was one of his buddies and basically handed the car over to us within 45 minutes AND gave it to me at an amazing price so that i could keep my payments around the same price. I had forgotten that the last 3 cars Jin Ho has bought were from them so they were basically friends. So goodbye to my Mercedes C-230 Kompressor and Hello to my new Cadillac srx. here is a picture. Im excited

confession

2009-01-27T10:39:00.000-08:00

when i get REALLY upset i do one of two things:

Binge eat in the Mcdonalds parking lot.
Or Clean til i can no longer find anything else to clean.

Last night i ate a big mac, fries, and a 6 piece chicken mcnugget and now today i want to go jump off a cliff!

That felt good

Class, i know i know im so boring! but its all i do!

2009-01-26T16:46:00.000-08:00

Things that bother me in school.

First off in my math class (mind you im in algebra its not hard) there is a girl that sits right next to me that shouts out answers. At first i didn't think it bugged because she he wasn't doing it for every answer. NOW she shouts out all of the wrong answers. I cant STAND IT!!!!!!! she needs to seriously BEAT IT!!

Then my next class. ohhh how i love world religions! not. My teacher is absolutly off his rocker. He is completly 100% dislexic, half delf, and almost blind... which are not the reasons why i dont like him but it definitely contributes because hes shouting the whole class. I feel like im at an auction because he talks so fast. And the worst thing of all.. i seriously have a hard time talking about it because half the time it makes me want to run out of the class and throw up everywhere. He has a saliva problem because seriously 98% of the whole class he has crazy white spit all over his lips that make spit strings every other second. There are not very many things that make me want to seriously barf, but this does. I dont know what im going to do because hes mean too! ahhhhhh. Just 6 or 7 more weeks of him i guess.

My last class is family relations which i actually like a lot! The teacher is super sweet and laid back which makes the end of my days much more peaceful. Im looking forward to learning more about the reasons why i am the way i am!

Huntington Beach!

2009-01-20T18:22:00.000-08:00

I went to Huntington beach recently with Georgia and LB to visit a couple girlfriends and it was so much fun! Its been about a week or so and i keep wanting to go back! I was a little apprehensive to go because i have a hard time leaving my boyfriend and my dogs back at home... I realized i haven't done it since Ive lived with them! It was SOOOOOO nice though, not to say i didn't miss them a whole bunch, but to just be somewhere else and not have to worry about work or school was amazing. Plus we went to a couple really fun bars and ate the best food ive had in a long time two nights in a row! I also got to see Carly one day which was nice because we havent seen eachother in so long! I love love love Allie and Jessica. I want to go back and visit soon! I think if i was single and didnt have all of the good things i have now i would definitely live down there, i love that area!I decided that i want to do some sort of a tour around the world and go to all of the best dive bars in each town. Im obsessed with them! anyone wanna go with me?
Heres some pictures.This is the bombed out Italian food place we went to. Probably the best Italian food ive ever had! I still think about it all the time.
At HyRoys hahaha LB is drunk
Were at Johnnys right here and if i recall correctly were doing that thing were we all shake our faces really fast. ha
Johnnys had a million bath and body works lotions on the wall in the bathroom i thought it was crazy!!

I start school this week!and i almost died

2009-01-19T10:17:00.000-08:00

On Saturday i worked til about three and my parents came up to meet me to go do a little shopping. So my dad went and sat and had coffee at Starbucks while my mom and I ran off to Victoria Secret. Anyways, we did our shopping and went back to find my dad sitting outside at one of those tables right across from the entrance/exit of Express. So we decided to sit down to take a little break until he finished his coffee. Well i don't know if anyone has noticed this before because i had never seen it in my life, but hanging directly centered above express is this huge cement decoration that is just part of the building. So were sitting ten fit away from that entrance and all of the sudden we hear this huge boom like a bomb had gone off and everyone started screaming. So i turn around to look and the huge piece of cement had FALLEN ! Cement was shattered everywhere. There were huge pieces all around our feet. The weirdest part about it is that if anyone one knows .. that little area right there is normally so crowded theres no where to sit and its hard to walk through! I mean it was a Saturday afternoon and it was hot! there were a million and a half people out shopping even my mom mentioned how crazy it was. At that exact moment no one was walking in or out or even standing right there! I turned back to look at my mom and her face was white and her hands were shaking.

It happened 2 days ago and i still think about it. It made me feel SO weird. I mean im sitting there with the two most important people in my life and it could have killed one of them. We were ten ft from it! I guess you go through life knowing that freak things like that do happen, but to SEE it happen so close to you and your loved ones makes you re-evaluate how important it is to have them in your life. I left and went home afterwards and kept having this urge to call my parents and make sure they were ok and tell them i love them!

Anyways, on a better note i start school this week again! Im excited because im getting back on track one more step closer to my career, and not excited because ive been enjoying this break so much! Only a month and a half til i find out if i got excepted into the program!

ONE YEAR

2009-01-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

Well Vanessa inspired me to write our story about how we met considering we are a tiny bit random :)and everyone always asks! So here it is!

I had become really good friends with a couple of girls who were friends with one of the bartenders from black sheep (Rich) So we would go in there ALL the time (this was when i was going out a lot). I became semi-good friends with him so we all started hanging out. The first time we hung out was when Rich invited us over to his house late Thanksgiving evening to hang out and drink some wine. Jin Ho was there but we never really got introduced and we didn't even talk. I really just didn't even care who he was! sad, i know. Then we had this brilliant idea that we would start a bowling team , so we decided every Wednesday night we would go to Cal Poly to bowl. Jin Ho was of coarse invited so he was always there. We kinda just started to get to know eachother through that at first, and then later on from going out together. I remember thinking he was SO funny, and thats a plus for me! I got to know him a little better and we started hanging out a lot. I started noticing that he had his shit together which is not normal for me to date someone of that kind. He was smart, funny, owned his own house, dressed nice, it was all new to me so i liked it! Shortly after pretty much only knowing eachother for a month or so he asked me out on a date. It was fun but the food was really bad! Ill never forget what he said to me that night though. He was talking about a certain dance that i did after i bowled a strike that he saw me do and he " knew that he loved me right then" hahahaha. Im pretty sure i was riding it like a cowboy. Anyways now were in love. Im tired of writing cause i dont feel good!

The End

Its a small town afterall

2009-01-05T20:37:00.000-08:00

I had a really fun weekend. I got to go to dinner with Lori the first night and I went to Ralph and Duanes two nights in a row!and it was fun! For the most part. It's out of character for me because most of the time i just find myself not having a good time while i am there. I think a lot of it has to do with seeing everybody that i went to highschool with every single time. Most of them are haters that think they are super cool! I wonder what growing up in a small town can do to make someone feel so cool? You would think that being so close with everyone and knowing most of the people would make you want to be friendly because you see them so much. Instead everyone pretends to like you but really they dont! I found that out a while ago, i wish i could have found out sooner!

While i was down there I found out some unnecessary drama one of the nights, which was interesting! Apparently two girls that i have never spoken one word two in my entire life talk shit about me on a regular basis!( i found out through a friend that hangs out with them sometimes) It's so petty and i dont personally care, but i think what bothered me the most is the fact that they blatently stared at me all night long trying to be obvious! Well throughout the night i had some tempting moments where i wanted to just be a bitch and call them out, but the reason i bring it up is because my New Years resolution is to not open my mouth anymore. I am honest a lot of the time and it only gets me into trouble. So the best i can do is just keep my mouth shut and avoid situations like that from now on!

Happy 2009, im hoping for a good year, with some good luck!

2 more things

2008-12-29T17:27:00.000-08:00

1.I think Eva Longoria pretty much explains it all when she said- “I think sometimes women are stuck in a type. I’ve never dated the same type. I fall in love with personalities, and they come in different packages.”

2. The other day i dropped the remote and the back opened up and the batteries fell out.... well one went missing and i could NOT find it for the life of me. Haha, well i was cleaning up dog poop outside today and look what i found! Looks like little miss Daisy ate an extra snack.

a couple new things

2008-12-29T13:37:00.000-08:00

So over the Christmas break Jin Ho had a few days off (which is very rare) so we went shopping! Him and i never get to spend a whole day off, let alone a couple of them, so we took advantage of it! We took the dogs to doggy day care at happy tails so we wouldn't have to worry about them being in their crates for too long, and we were off!

We went up to Paso to Target and Ross. Then we came back to slo and shopped around downtown til we had to go pick up the dogs before they closed. I had soooo much fun, not just because we were getting some new things for the house, but because we got to spend that much time together doing something fun. If you know me, then you know that the house that Jin Ho moved into almost 2 years ago still looks like he just moved in a month ago! There is nothing on the walls! and the decorating looks like a bachelor pad. So just to start off small , we got a few new things that are helping turn this house into a home, and i love it.

Here are just some random pictures of some of the things we got and more.

This is the side table we got for the couches along with a cute new lamp and digital photo frame!I was probably the most excited about the digital photo frame because ive been wanting one for a while now!
I found these candle holders at Ross im OBSESSED with them! They were so cheap and now we can bring good luck into the house with elephants! ( i am a little superstitous)

We also got this little table at Ross along with the mirror we hung above it. This is the spot where he used to have a whole wall of Dvd's. It looks and feels 100% nicer in here now and we actually hung our first item on the wall!
Bentley is obsessed with Jin Ho, from the second he gets home til he leaves in the morning hes sitting on his lap! And then the picture below is Mom and Ella baking last night! Right before she fell ill :( poor little lover.

What does Becoming a nurse mean?

2008-12-23T18:26:00.000-08:00

hard work, a lot of schooling, a lot of learning,becoming something you've worked terribly hard for, and making a lot of money.

I don't get very much feedback from the people i surround myself with other than my hard working boyfriend, but i just need to remember that im doing this for myself and no one else. It's not easy by any means, but its definitely easy to feel like none of your friends give a shit when everyone grew up in a town where no one really goes anywhere or does anything. It just makes me want to work harder for it.

That's my vent for the day.

haha

2008-12-21T22:22:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

from: Daisy and Bentley
(they were so mad about this!)

2008-12-19T23:51:00.000-08:00

Ive been SOOOOOOOOOOOOO stressed about not passing this Bio class i was just in because that would mean i would have to re-take it and my nursing application would be void.... but i JUST FOUND OUT I PASSED! woo-hoo with a C! I haven't had the best night...but nothing can bring me down! Thank you Jesus and Mr.Kirkhart.

p.s i am notorious for crazy sinus infections and i feel a cold coming on! please no :( not during Christmas!!

p.p.s The Christmas party is tomorrow night and im excited! I just got done decorating the house by myself, and cleaning by myself. Jin Ho never cleans! I will post pictures after the party to show the cute decorations.

im tired

2008-12-06T00:43:00.001-08:00

Well its official the Jin Ho-liday party will be held on the 2oth! Im excited because i feel like this year we have become close with everyone that will be attending.. it wont be as big as last year, but i guess as life goes on we just naturally weed out the people that dont matter and stay close with the ones that do, and i am extremly thankful for the people in my life! We really do have an awesome close group of friends and we all have a lot of fun together so i imagine it i will be a really good time. Im so excited.

I had a crazy week. I had 2 exams, 3 essays, and a group project for bio on top of finals next week and work. Im exhausted. Jin Ho bought me the new Sims game on the wii (united kingdom) and i started playing last week and all ive wanted to do is just sit and play it for a couple of hours! So i planned on tonight just being my night to relax and not do anything and i ended up NOT playing the sims , but baking and cleaning instead! now its back to work in the morning and meeting with my bio group again in the afternoon. im BURT.

p.s i love ace of cakes

It's Loris Baby shower this Sunday, i cant even believe how fast time is flying. I knew it would and i would be kicking myself for not being able to spend enough time with her while shes pregnant! I guess i just need to accept the fact that we are both older and NOT sixteen anymore so i cant just pick up the phone or walk over to her house and see her at any second. :( KRISTA you too! i love them more than anything its just so hard to try and plan things these days between our schedules, considering San Luis is like worlds away from AG and Santa Maria.

update!

2008-12-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

Last weekend we went out on Saturday night with pretty much all of our friends (which is rare) because usually Jin Ho works and everyone else is just busy. WELL as i predicted, everyone pretty much ended up as drunk as i thought they would and ended off the night in a fist fight! Compliments of my boyfriend starting it by sticking up for me :) then we decided to walk all the way home and he forced me to take off my heels and wear his shoes and he walked in his socks the whole two miles! he is so sweet. He also put up the Christmas lights last weekend and they look amazing! This year he got the LED icicle lights so you can pretty much see our house from Broad because they are so bright! Then, right when i thought i was pushing it asking him to put up the lights, he came home from work yesterday and offered to go get a Christmas tree!! Before we left he MADE sure that i knew we couldnt get a huge one because our house is to small and we dont have enough room...haha. All i can say is we came home with an EIGHT feet tall flocked tree!! its wild and i love it.I spotted it from a mile away when we got to the the place and its perfect! I decorated last night til about eleven and now our living room looks like a winter wonderland! I really do have the best boyfriend. I felt so bad because last night when we went to bed he woke up and barfed all night long, and then i had crazy anxiety that i might get sick during these next few weeks of finals so we were both up all night! I cant wait for Christmas... and i think were going to go to Vegas when im done on the 17th, im so excited!p.s who thinks we should have a holiday party this year???

good show

2008-11-22T11:52:00.001-08:00

I went and saw Mickey Avalon last night which actually turned out to be really fun. Jin Ho got a table so we didn't have to be in that crazy crowd cause i probably would have just left considering i wasn't in the best mood. He has these two really funny dancers with him that were probably the most enteraning part of the whole show. They wore slutty lingerie the whole time and just wondered around the stage, at one point one was just in pasties! I wasnt sure if it would be fun cause i knew that every stupid person in SLO would be there, but hes weird, gross, and dirty,three of my most favorite things so i knew i couldnt miss out! If any of you dont know what Mickey Avalon looks like - treat yourself to some eye candy. p's hes tiny

i love them.

2008-11-16T21:39:00.000-08:00

So i had lunch with Lori and Krista this week and boy did i NEED it! I feel like i haven't even been able to see their bellies grow and i hate it more than anything! They make me feel like im so far behind ( life wise) but its amazing to think that we are all still best friends and i actually get to witness all of this baby having! Now for the rest of the weekend, not so good. not gonna blog about it.

I forced them to take this picture. Lori wanted to take it infront of that big coors light truck in the background ( not surprising!) and Krista would not smile!!! Sounds about right :) Love you guys!

my dream

2008-11-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

Ok just a little FYI about me before you read this.. my whole life ive had night terrors.. i wont go into detail or anything but they are vivid dreams that usually end up in me sleep walking and doing weird things and when i wake up i can remember the whole thing like it actually happened.This one wasnt scary at ALL, but it was as vivid as they usually are and i never usually dream other then night terrors... SO this morning I just woke up out of this dream i HAVE to blog about.

We were back at my old redlands house with my whole family,not living there,just visiting after all these years because i guess Taryn and I were both getting married there the next day! I dont remember if she was marrying Shaun or not, i dont think i ever got to see who it was going to be, all i remember is the house was vacant and a little different looking but mostly how i remembered it. It was painted a light teal and pastel pink, and i kept thinking.. these colors are crazy...but i guess it will work! My dad walked upstairs in his suit that was super eighties and like 5 sizes to small but he was really excited about it so i didnt say anything cause i didnt want to hurt his feelings. I just remember feeling like i wanted to cry when i saw it. THEN i realized i didnt have a wedding dress. Jin Ho had surprised me with one! It was wild. It was brown with all kinds of fancy stuff on it. I remember thinking he would really like me in it, but it was really unflattering. So i was looking around and Taryn had 3 wedding dresses picked out all from J Crew!! I kept asking her how i could find one in such short time and she told me that if i went that day to target they could have one shipped out to me. Then i remember freaking out and not wanting to get married inside the house because i felt like it was to eighties looking so i was yelling at everyone telling them i wanted to get married outside the house infront of the big pillars and by the bushes! Then i woke up.

It freaked me out, it was like i was actually there. Does anyone know why i would have a dream like this?

Two things

2008-11-12T08:21:00.000-08:00

First- you might recognize them from the CMT music show can you duet, or from a couple commercials on TV right now...but im OBSESSED. Their names are Rory+Joey and for some reason every single thing about them makes me cry. I loved them on the show,and when i saw one of their first commericals i just about died. They are the most sweetest, in love, precious couple not to mention she has the most amazing voice you have ever heard. Check them out!They have a couple videos on their myspace that are about them that are really cute.

Second- I don't know if you have ever tried this? m sure most of you have seen the commercial back in the day, yes the really cheesy one! BUT i love it. Lately ive been on a huge kick drinking a cup a night.. which probably is not good for the Lbs. but regardless it is tasty. I remembered drinking it when i was younger so i decided to go to the grocery store to see if they had it and thank God they did! Im actually having a glass right now!

Christmas!

2008-11-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

So i just saw my first Christmas commercial of the year and ohhhh yes it felt so good! It was just a wal mart commercial but i loved every second of it!! I cant wait for all of the decorations to go up around San Luis and Arroyo Grande. This year i get to have a REAL Christmas tree and i
couldnt be more excited! I would love to try and convince my boyfriend to get one of those snowy white ones that Taryn and I have always wanted... but i doubt i could be that lucky. I was thinking about taking some awesome Christmas photos with funny sweaters and my boxers all dressed up to send out.. we will see if i get around to that though. My first semester is coming to an end so fast. I cant believe that in less than a month i will already be done with my first pre reqs! I met with my counciler yesterday to devise my RN plan, which seems a little overwhelming right now but i know in the end thats where my heart will be. She kept mentioning to have a back up plan incase i dont get in this random drawing for the LVN coarse and every single time i cringed! Anyways.... atleast its almost Christmas time! and even better i get to have Brenda here with me cause she decided not to move yet! I am sooo thankful cause i was already beginning to cry everysingle time she mentioned it. Anyways, I need Thanksgiving to come quicker so i can get those Chritmas lights up !( that i already made Jin Ho buy!) he loves me.

update!

2008-11-01T23:45:00.001-07:00

Ok SO Halloween was fun! I had a really good time. The decorations were not half as good as i had hoped they would be... but oh well they were still cool. The live psychic room scared me all night, I just wanted to stay as far away from it as possible! The night was longggggggg considering we got there around 9 and stayed til almost closeing time. Things started getting a little weird towards the end of the night! we wont get into that though...ha . So i had a really rough week and ended it off with a fun Halloween thank God cause i definetly needed it! Here are some fun pictures from our night. The last picture is of Kamylah and I downtown a couple weekends ago. She is in the same program as me so were in all of the same classes, i LOVE her she is my rock! I hope hope hope that we both get accepted into the program at the same time so every cross your fingers for her to !

Dj Flight and Jin Ho

Jin Ho and Matt Gaines

Brenda being a savage Indian!

i LOVE this bitch!

Uncle Sam is soo cute!

Im in love with Uncle Sam

We had the coolest drinks!

Jin Ho, Rich, and I

Kamylah and I

i lied

2008-10-29T17:16:00.001-07:00

bad WEEK.

bad day

2008-10-27T15:47:00.000-07:00

I hate bad days. School is wearing me OUT. I mean with school, work, two boxers, and a boyfriend who doesn't know one thing about a simple apology, things can just plain suck sometimes. I hate having this feeling where you are upset but you don't want to talk to anyone about it, and you don't want to see anyone you know, but yet you don't really want to be alone. I mean , where in the hell is that going to get you ? Knowing me probably just sitting either in my car parked somewhere , or at Starbucks for a LONG time. Ive been going through some rough times lately. Friends just aren't really pulling through, relationships are hard and confusing, i guess its just a reminder that I cant really count on anyone but myself at this point. I need to just concentrate on school so i can finish and be able to support myself. I did find out a couple good news today though, i skipped class on Thursday and it turned out class was canceled anyways so i didn't miss anything! I also got my grade in math today and i have a 93.6%.

Everyone is Sick!!!!

2008-10-20T20:55:00.001-07:00

Everyone is sick! including me now :( boo. Ive been trying my hardest to stay away from all of the flu/sickly people, but all i can think about the whole time im sitting in a desk at school is how many germs are all over them! On top of being sick, i have been switching birth controls the last year or so trying to find the right one and i finally decided about 2 months ago to give my body a break for a little bit. Well i started my period and man i forgot what it was like to just have a normal period. It ROCKED my world, i thought i had the stomach flu! Turned out i just needed some advil and a long nap. I did also get my flu shot last week and i usually somehow end up getting sick within a week or so of getting the flu shot every year. Well my dad SWEARS on his life that its not from the shot! Ive been learning all about that sort of thing though and im beginning to think he could possibly be wrong! I would way rather have that flu shot though then the full blown flu! So to everyone who is sick or has been , i feel your pain!

Halloween!!

2008-10-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

So today we decided to be festive and we headed down to the Avila Valley Barn, which i still cant decide was a good idea or not! The crowds were crazy!! and we brought Daisy and Bentley too! I decided because i love my sister Taryn so much i would carve my pumpkin in honor of her and her love for the Twilight series ( as much as i hate it!) So here is the documentation!

Bentley was hard at work the whole time trying to eat every piece of pumpkin he could get!

We carved on our back porch.

Daisy hard at work!

i styled my hair for the festive activities!! doesn't it look nice?

Jin Ho's pumpkin is off the hook CLEARLY.

If you cant tell my pumpkin is a vampire going in for a bite on the neck! i free styled those stars by the way!

Oh i also put up some decorative orange lights in honor of the holiday! Our house looks so cute i love it.

no title

2008-10-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

So all my life my dad has been getting shoulder surgeries and knee surgeries that require him to have multiple stitches. Pretty much every time he would ask me if i wanted to take them out for him! well knowing me, usually i did! I loved doing things like that. I remember one time he had a big shoulder surgery and came home with tons of staples all down his shoulder that he let me take out and i loved every second of it!! Well last night he came home with our flu shots. So of coarse in the family line up i go first ( if you know my family, i usually go first when dad brings home the scary shots from work) and right afterward he turned to me and said, "ok ,now you give me mine". I got soo nervous! Im not sure if it was because it was my dad and hes the doctor so i didnt want to mess up in front of him , or if it was because i just had never done it! So he yelled at me for a minute or so and finally i just did it. Well when i was done i was begging everyone else if they would let me do theirs too! I mean if i can be excited about giving my first shot, what is it going to be like helping deliver that baby!?

Oh another thing. I know my last blog was a little negative. I just was feeling really angry last night after reading a couple things, but i want all you moms around me to know that this was not about you. You guys are all very inspiring to me.

to all of you women

2008-10-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

My mom is the most amazing mom. She did everything she could possibly do to give Taryn and i a good life. She went through a 9 month accelerated nursing program ( which would normally take two years) JUST to support us. work work work, thats all she did. I just think about some women out there that dont even work, they have a husband that works and yet they still think that life just sucks. They complain about having kids and being pregnant and all of the negative aspects of life, things that dont matter( well to most thankful people). Think about the things you DO have. Think about the single moms who deal with loneliness, isolation, frustration and finances every single day of their lives. Think about the women who long to have babies but psychically can not have a child and feel like they are no good to a man. Think about the women who go to work every single day, all day long and MISS their children so terribly bad that they ACHE to see them. Think about the women who would give an arm and a leg JUST to be pregnant and have that one baby theyve always dreamed of.
be THANKFUL for what you have.

The single women working hard to support their children,
The women who cant psychially have babies but are still so positive and awesome,
The women who APPRECIATE everything they have,
THESE are women to be praised.

I am really thankful to have such an amazing mom, ive learned a lot from her and i could only hope i can be just as good as she is one day.

oh school.. and Halloween!

2008-10-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Lately i have been really stressing out about school. I know for a lot of people school comes easy, but for me it just doesn't! I have to try really really hard, i mean give it everything ive got to do well. So FAR im half way through the semester and i am actually doing pretty well. I guess my hardest problem is finding a balance. Right now im taking English,Math and Biology. I have english twice a week, math three times a week, and bio once a week ( i go for four hours, i know yikes). Most of the time i concentrate on english and math because they both give me so much homework. Considering i only have bio once a week, i dont really think about it that much other then when i have an exam and i FREAK out because i dont know anything! I got lucky i have a really great teacher in bio. He lectures pretty much the whole three hours and on top of it he comes in an hour early to help me understand things a little bit better.

So i knew in english and math i have A's but i thought for sure i had atleast a D or an F in bio because my last exam i bombed! Well this exam i did pretty good and i just checked my grade online and im up to a B-! i almost cried happy tears. Im sure for most of you this is a boring post, but for me this is my life right now! I NEED to get good grades to get into this program! Oh yes which brings me back to submitting my application for nursing school tomorrow! everyone be praying please :)

On a better note! I cant wait for Halloween! Ive been meaning to stop by and get some pumpkins for Jin Ho and i to carve! Tonight i stopped by Old Navy to pick up Ellas halloween Costume which by the way is sooooo freaking cute im not going to spoil it for everyone though!! and it reminded me how i need to get my own costume!! This year im going to the All Hallows Eve Bash at Native! I cant wait!!! Dj flight is going to dj, hes our friend and one of the best djs ever, an ourdoor ice bar, live psychics( which i will be running from because im not into that!!)an outdoor hookah lounge,special effects and costume contests!!! Its going to be soo much fun! I think Brenda and i are going to be Indians! I really need to get on that!

a new appreciation for my dogs

2008-10-12T15:49:00.000-07:00

This morning i went to breakfast with Brenda and she brought Ruby along with us( her cute little 6 month old, 4lbs,min pin). Everything was fine we just thought she was sleeping very nicely in Brenda's lap the whole time.... well turns out we were wrong. After breakfast we came back to my house so i could get ready to go to Leah's Bridal shower and we took her out to go potty and she could barely stand up. Her head was bobbling around all weird and she kept falling over like she couldnt hold her own weight, i knew something was wrong. I was particularly scared because a while ago i had watched animal cops on tv and a dog on there had gotten into some rat poisen and didnt make it to the er on time. Well, Ruby was doing something very similar to what i thought looked like the dog on animal cops was doing. We watched her for a couple more minutes and realized she needed to go to the animal ER. So we rushed down to Arroyo Grande and they took her right in. We waited.. and waited...meanwhile Brenda was terribly upset thinking the worst situation possible.... and then finally got called into a small little room where they then questioned us. Do you keep any toxins in, or around your property ? Has she been eating and drinking anything today ? Has she been Vomiting or any diareah ? Do you have any marijunah in the house?

Right then we realized Brendas roomate( the stoner she found on craigslist last minute) smokes all day everyday and Ruby might possibly have wondered in there and gotten into his stash. So low and behold, poor little Ruby ended up eating some charcoal and barfing, and then getting sent home 400 dollars later. THANK GOD she was ok, but the poor thing is still high out of her mind!

It really gave me a new appreciation for my dogs because while i was in the ER a boxer was in there. I guess the owner( i could use a large amount of cuss words right now because of how much she infuriated me) had clipped EVERY SINGLE nail wayyy to short and they were all bleeding. There was blood all over the floor. It smelled really bad in there the whole time i just wanted to get the HELL outta there! I know i know, i wanna be a nurse! so im going to be around lots of blood and weird smelling things, but its different! I cant stand it when animals are hurt!!!!!

This is Ruby normal:

This is your dog on drugs:

And Again:

Birthday Girl!

2008-10-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

So last night was Brenda's Birthday! She has been so awesome to me since we have become friends so i wanted to do something really nice in honor of her! Shes not to keen on birthdays so her plan was to keep it low key and just go check out the fashion show for a little while at Native. WELL... what she didn't know was that i had a couple surprises up my sleeve! The first surprise was her sister and sisters boyfriend coming into town for the festivities( her sister is her best friend and favorite person in the entire world) she hasn't seen her in while so she was sooooo happy to see them! Then the second surprise i got planned was a table at Native with bottle service. Were friends with the owner of Native so he threw in a second bottle of Grey Goose for free! It turned out to be a really good night. We all went out to dinner and then back to Brenda's for some champagne. Meanwhile i snuck down to native before the show and decorated her table with balloons, glow sticks, party hats, party favors and some other things! Then after champagne we headed down to the Fashion Show where we ended up til about 2 in the morning! Jin Ho got a little crazy!!!!! Heres some fun pics.

yey

2008-10-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

Today is mine and Jin Ho's 9 month anniversary! It has been a long, wild, amazing 9 month's at that!

It's easy when you live with someone to just get into a swing of thing's and forget to tell each other how much you care. Everyday i think about how lucky i am to live the life that i i do.I have my two favorite little dogs, i have someone who makes me dinner every night and takes me out all the time! I have the cutest little house to live in with a roof over my head. I just am REALLY lucky! oh and not to mention i probably found the funniest man alive considering im laughing all day because of him!
I LOVE YOU JIN HO!

One more thing, im ALWAYS asking people if they have seen these e trade commercials that im obsessed with, they are hilarious!!! here is a link to my favorite one!!Please, its well worth your time! it involves a baby for all you moms!http ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_yA4BAN7BY

im TIRED

2008-10-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today i worked all day, went straight to school for two hours and then straight to the grocery store. I finally just ate dinner at 930 pm and all i want to do is go to bed! Too bad tomorrow i have a math exam and a bio exam to study for! someone save me :( its all worth it!

On a lighter note, I have no school this Thursday and Friday because of teacher flex days. It's Brenda's birthday this Thursday and im surprising her with a table at native for the fashion show with bottle service. Her sister Heather is also coming into town to surpise her for the night! cant wait.

My next blog is going to be about Jin Ho. get ready

loving life

2008-10-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

Well it has finally happened! Ive decided to join the world of blogging. Life just recently became a little crazy when i decided to follow my dreams and start college after 3 years in cosmetology. I have been so slammed with homework i feel like im losing my mind! I cant WAIT until im in that delivery room maddness. I just got to sit in on my second live vaginal birth as most of you know im sure, my little baby nephew Owen was born! and let me tell you how much more inspired i was! im obsessed. The whole expierence is intriguing. Watching all of the nurses come in and check her, and then the actual birthing of the baby! Its so insane. I just couldnt imagine anything more rewarding. Thank God everything went perfect or else i might die! I apply to get into the progam on Oct 15th and find out in Feb. if i get accepted. Everyone cross your fingers , i need this! Here is a couple pictures of precious baby Owen.